Thursday, March 31, 2005

I found some funny pictures of people having fun at the expense of the Schiavo protestors:


"Dying is for Wussies!" I think I wet myself a little....


Now I've wet myself a lot.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Thank you dadahead for introducing me to the joy that is these pictures.




Image courtesy of the Drudge Report.

Well it seems that the Pope has decided to show his support for Terri Schiavo by getting a feeding tube of his very own. However, on a less happy note, apparently he's received the last rights so I'm guessing things don't look all that good for him. Then again, I was pretty sure that JP II was going to go the way of JP I several months ago and he did survive getting shot when he was already an old man, so he's a tough guy. As such I guess we shouldn't discount his ability to recover what would have done in a wimpier man.

-Socialist Swine

UPDATE: Apparently the Pope has taken a turn for the worse and has suffered a heart attack.



As much as it pains me to say, it seems that Rev. Jesse Jackson has joined in on the political opportunism that is surrounding the Terri Schiavo. I know that most the people who support the reinsertion of Schiavo's feeding tube mean well but the actions of the numerous politicians who've gotten themselves involved is more the circling of vultures than an expression of compassion. Seriously, the family of Terri Schiavo is suffering enough, they don't need everyone and their dog using their pain to gain power and influence.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. I wonder what Terri would say about this....

P.P.S. I know, inappropriate, I can't help it. I find the site funny.....

UPDATE: It seems that Terri Schiavo has shuffled off the mortal coil (aka kicked the bucket). So it seems that not only is Jesse Jackson a political opportunist, he's a political opportunist with poor timing. I wonder what will happen to her 'blog.




Today I came across an article in the National Post about a campaign to get Leonard Cohen a Nobel Prize for literature. Apparently, Paul Kennedy, a CBC radio host, has decided that Cohen deserves a Nobel for his contribution in both music and poetry (a sentiment that I share) and is going to do all he can to convince the Swedish Academy to award him one. If you're going to be in Montreal on this upcoming Saturday and you're interested in getting Leonard Cohen a Nobel you can attend a talk being presented by Kennedy at the Blue Metropolis at 8:30 pm.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. I really hope that they do award Leonard Cohen with the prize he so deserves.



...then you should take a look at Terri Schiavo's Blog. I found it via Stupid Evil Bastard. It made me laugh and feel really bad about it at the same time. So very funny, yet so very wrong....

-Socialist Swine

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Well it seems that Arnold's taking his belief that we should all be fitter a step further. According to an article in The Pacific Northwest Medical Journal,

...now California is the first state in the Union to offer state-funded vasectomies to men who have been diagnosed as obese.

Why would a state adopt such a controversial program? The basis is simple: vasectomy is a popular method of birth control (in 1983, figures showed that approximately 10 million men had been sterilized in the U.S. since 1969). By offering such a highly effective form of birth control freely to men who, by clinical diagnosis, have been deemed genetically inferior to the normalized median of homo (sic) sapien development, such a gene line would effectively be eliminated.

Does anyone else see a problem with this?

UPDATE: Apparently I was taken in by a pre-April Fool's Day prank and the above is in fact a hoax.










Don't let this happen to you. Drink Keystone.

-Socialist Swine



Lately there's been quite a bit on the news regarding the Pivot Legal Society's advocation for the decriminalization of prostitution in Canada. I'm curious as to what people think about this. Should prostitution be decriminalized?

-Socialist Swine



The Texas GOP really needs to grow up a little. When party infighting is about who's friends with Hilary Clinton rather than policy issues there's something seriously wrong. I mean are these politicians or high-school kids? "You hung out with a kid from the wrong clique you can't hang out with us anymore...." Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ, grow up already.

-Socialist Swine

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I found this wonderfully well written entry at Buridan's Ass:

Defend Evolution – Why?

Intelligent Design (ID) advocates often call on biologists to defend evolution, to prove that evolutionary theory is true. The supporting biological evidence for evolution has been accumulating for over 150 years – DNA, fossil records, etc. It provides the basis for all the biosciences, including the medical sciences; and it finds support in the geological record. It’s simply absurd to claim there’s no evidence for evolution. Ok, so what's the big deal? Well, the supposition that evolutionary theory is false until proven true is simply nonsensical. Doesn’t the massive amount of empirical evidence prove evolution to be true? No, not exactly. It’s a play on words that derives its force from the colloquial use of true and false, on the one hand, and from its more technical use on the other. It’s a sort of parlor trick that ID folks often take advantage of and consequently equivocate on the different uses of truth and falsity.

In the technical use of the words ‘true’ and ‘false’ science isn’t concerned with either. It’s not in the business of proving anything true or false. That’s what philosophers and mathematicians do – they demonstrate the validity of propositions and provide proofs for theorems. So what does science do if it doesn’t prove "things" to be true or false? You can begin to see the answer by how odd the question sounds. How can a “thing” be true or false, it just is isn’t it? Science deals with things and the mechanisms that bring about such things; it provides testable hypotheses that are either confirmed or disconfirmed given the empirical evidence. Confirmation is not the same as truth.

Be that as it may, this is one of the many ID tactics used to put science on the defensive. If this tactic were not as successful as it appears to be, it would simply be an amusing display of audacity on their part. Unfortunately, it seems to be gaining some ground due to the equivocal nature of ID claims. Should this be of particular concern for the biosciences? I don’t think so. There is no reason, advantage, or obligation for science to defend evolutionary theory on these bogus grounds. In fact, with regard to scholarship, science has no particular obligation to anyone outside the scientific community. Science doesn't care whether it's popular and neither answers to public opinion nor should it - scholarship is not up for vote! The long standing tradition of academic freedom has a purpose. It ensures that any group or individual does not have the right to dictate the content of one's scholarship, and that includes public opinion. Science does, however, have an obligation to justify it’s utility for society more broadly.

Science, like all disciplines, operates under peer-review. The public per se is not part of this process. Academic scholarship is not governed by democratic principles. Not everyone has or should have an equal voice in what a particular discipline deems worthy of consideration. It’s a meritocracy plain and simple. Scholars don't take turns publishing in journals because it would be the fair thing to do, they compete for that distinction. To be taken seriously requires that one earn the privilege to be heard. ID advocates will never be taken seriously, not because their evidence is weak (it’s actually non-existent) or because the scientific community doesn’t like them (irrelevant) or because there’s some sort of global scientific conspiracy to keep the truth hidden (stupid), but because ID bases its methodology – its principles of “investigation” – on the prior and a priori assumption that God (almost exclusively the Christian God) is the author of the universe and everything in it. This is not and cannot be a basis for scientific investigation!

Thus, any debate between ID and science is unproductive, at best, because there’s no common ground between them; there’s nothing to talk about because there is nothing to talk about. The general public seems to miss this point or fails to understand it. As a result, they are susceptible to the ID demand that science engage them in bogus public debates – “Sure, why not? It sounds perfectly reasonable for two opposing sides to debate the issues. Isn’t that what science does?” Not exactly. Scientists debate among scientists because there’s some common ground upon which they can agree and disagree. Such common ground is non-existent between ID and science – theology does not translate into science and science does not translate into theology.

ID advocates would like to be functioning members of this group but it's not going to happen. They operate from within a strict set of religious suppositions about our knowledge of the world and are incapable of differentiating scientific from religious epistemologies. In their attempts to muddy the waters, they confuse the two and believe that because their ideas say something about the physical world they ought to be given serious consideration among the scientific community. Wrong again. These two methods of "knowing" are not the same but radically different. To have a productive dialogue you must begin with a similar set of assumptions in order to recognize whatever differences there may be in theoretical claims.

To take an extreme example, it’s like having a poet debate with a structural engineer on the merits of a particular piece of poetry or the most structurally sound way to design a bridge. Such debates would be absurd. It’s no different with religiously based notions of creation and intelligent design. Science operates in a radically different world than does religion. Thus, when ID advocates believe their claims speak to realities in the physical world, they delude not only themselves but everyone else who buys into this pseudo-scientific view.

In short, there’s nothing to be gained by such discussions or debates. It’s simply a cleaver ruse for ID folks to be seen with scientists in a public forum - a cheap way of gaining some semblance of legitimacy. Intelligent Design is not science but a religious/social movement that seeks public exposure and media attention like any other social movement.

Buridan

I'm going to have to keep an eye on Buridan's 'blog. I think it's destined for greatness. Anyone who even knows who John Buridan is, let alone use his name as a handle, has my respect.

-Socialist Swine



Today I came across an entry by the conservative blogger Michelle Malkin. In the entry she accuses the lawyer of Michael Schiavo of being a ghoul when he announced that Schiavo has ordered that the findings of his wife's future autopsy will be made public to demonstrate the extent of the damager her brain has endured. Malkin closes her post suggesting that Schiavo has been inadequately thorough by not ordering MRIs and PET scans of his wife while she was alive. Indeed, Malkin echoes a demand issued by another conservative blogger who suggests, "I think we have an opening here to call Michael Schiavo's and Mr. Felos' bluff: if they want to show us the massive extent of her brain damage, have an MRI and PET scan while she is alive."

Well if Ms. Malkin actually took the time to fact check (which she should considering that she's a journalist by profession) she would have realized that the University of Miami has in fact made images of Terri Schiavo's CT scans accessible to the public.



-Socialist Swine

P.S. If you click on the picture of the CT scan you will be taken to the miami.edu site where you can access the information they have regarding the Schiavo case.



It seems that all is not well in the Conservative Party of Canada lately. First there was dispute regarding the nomination process during their convention and now it seems that there's dissent regarding Stephen Harper's public stance on the budget bill. Despite Harper's position (which is shared by MPs from western Canada) Tories from the Atlantic provinces are very much in favor of endorsing the budget bill as it is set forth by the Martin government. Indeed, if the budget bill fails in parliament it will also mean the death of the royalty agreement that Atlantic Canadians fought so hard for, which will mean a loss of several billion dollars for the region.

It seems that Harper is between a rock and a hard place. If he endorses the budget bill he'll alienate the Conservatives in the west (and appear to be a "flip-flopper", something that I take conservatives hate). However, if he maintains his current position he can kiss the east good bye in the pursuant election. Finally if he just sits there and takes a neutral position letting his MPs vote willy-nilly he appears to be grab-asstic and ineffectual. I wonder what will happen in the next little bit.

-Socialist Swine

Monday, March 28, 2005

If you had asked me if I thought that there might be peace between Israel and the Palestinians within the next five years I would have said that you were crazy to even suggest such a thing and immediately bid you good day. However, it seems that I would have been wrong and there's been some serious progress made in the region in the last few months. I never thought that there could ever be any move towards peace with Ariel Sharon in office but I guess I was underestimated him. Sharon, despite his hawkishness, has been able to bully the Israeli parliament, despite opposition by notable figures such as Benjamin Netanyahu, into moving forward with a withdrawal of Jewish settlers from the Gaza Strip. Now, granted if I were an Israeli I might be a little pissy about this given that perhaps people like Netanyahu are right and there should be a clear public mandate, in the form of a referendum, before one takes as drastic an action as a full withdrawal from Gaza. However, since I'm not an Israeli and am really only interested in the decrease in the tensions in the middle-east I'm glad that it seems that there's actually progress being made. Hopefully the turnover of Gaza to the Palestinian Authority will go smoothly and people in the region will finally stop shooting and bombing one another.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. A relatively good article on this issue can be found in this article by Greg Myre of the New York Times.



It struck me that it's been a long time since I posted random pictures of emo kids for your amusement (actually this time I decided to go right to the source of the problem and make fun of emo bands). I'm sorry that I've been neglectful.


AFI's name is supposed to stand for A Fire Inside but it seems to me that it would be more accurate if the acronym was for All Feely Inside.


Yeah, I know Good Charlotte aren't really an emo band but they sure act emo. Look how sad they are, they must have been crying cause their mascara's all runny.


Cruiserweight? Don't you mean Loserweight?

-Socialist Swine







One has to be suspicious when the readings from the President's Council on "Bioethics" include exerpts from War and Peace, Peter Pan, and Gulliver's Travels. I mean even Derrida would likely have been reluctant to say that the books listed above have anything to do with bioethics. I swear there's a conspiracy to make people stupider.

-Socialist Swine



Is everyone ready for another edition of Liberal Eye for the Conservative Guy? This week we have a special treat for you! We're going to do two profiles from over at Hannidate! First I'd like you to meet Alton:

I'm divorced and starting over. I'm a cargo pilot and I love my job. I'm not home at night but I do get my sleep when I'm on duty and I come home early in the morning and rested. I work Monday night through Saturday morning with every other Friday night off. In the day I work out (while listening to Shawn) and take care of errands. It is and unusual schedule but it can work in the right relationship. I love to spend my time off with the special ones in my life. I enjoy watching TV, renting movies, taking walks, going to parks, or just conversing with the special person in my life. I like to cook and don't mind doing my share of upkeep. I can tell you more later.

Okay, to be completely honest I don't have that much advice for you Alton. I think that you do a fairly decent job of writing a profile to attract the ladies.

That said, I wanted to comment on was this line:

"I do get my sleep when I'm on duty"

Didn't you say that you're a pilot?

I must admit that I'm not a pilot and I don't know all that much about flying planes but shouldn't you stay awake when you're at the helm of 50 tons of steel hurtling through the sky at nearly 500 knots? I don't know maybe I'm overly cautious or something.

Moving onward....


Next, I have the pleasure of introducing to you, Leo. Everyone give Leo a warm welcome.

My name is Leo. I am 40 years old who is divorced and have a 7 years old son who visits me every weekend.

I work with a company called Image Media Solutions in Somerville NJ as IT person. After I got divorced, for 5 years I had no one in my life... Although I still love my ex wife, there is nothing I can do to get her back, so I have to find someone who will make me forget about my ex...

I am very easy going person, and I like to make people laugh.

My background is Turkish, but I prefer to date woman from other countries. My ex was Portuguese.

Let's see if this works. I listen WABC everyday, some people are going nuts in the office because I listen Rush Hannity and Levin too much.

I hope to hear from you soon.

By the way, I am looking for a woman around 25 to 35 years range, I am 5.10 so 5.5. range height, and I am kind of athletic it is very nice to have a woman similar physics but it is not a killer option. I die for blue or green eyes...

Hi Leo, I'm not quite sure where to start with your profile. Oh, I know, I'll start with your declaration of love for your ex-wife.

I don't know but it seems to me to be a bad idea to start off your profile for a dating site by announcing that you still love your ex-wife. From my experience the ladies seem to like it when you tell them that you love them but they don't seem to particularly enjoy it when you tell them that you love your ex.

Yeah, I know women are irrationally jealous but hey what can you do about it?

Oh wait, I know what you can do about it. Don't start off by describing yourself as still in love with you ex-wife.

Using what amounts to: "I love my ex-wife though we've been divorced for 5 years," as a pick-up line doesn't get the ladies all hot and bothered. It gets them bothered and imagining the court proceedings necessary to get a restraining order. I hate to say it Leo but your profile makes you come off as a little bit stalkerish. Ladies don't like stalkerish, actually no one but stalkerish people like stalkerish.

Don't be so damn stalkerish, you're even creeping me out dude.

Next you say that you're Turkish but you prefer to date people of different ethnicities like your ex-wife. There's two things I want to mention about this line:

1) Your wife left your Turkish ass, get over it already. The ladies don't want to hear about how great your ex-wife was. I'm actually getting a little sick of hearing about her as well. She doesn't love you anymore. Deal with it, call Dr. Laura or something.

2) What's up with you conservative guys and your interracial fetish thingy. You're the second person in the Lib Eye for the Con Guy who's said that they only date people of other ethnicities. Someone really has to explain this to me.

Finally you end your profile by saying:

"it is very nice to have a woman similar physics but it is not a killer option. I die for blue or green eyes..."

First of all, I don't even know what most of this means.

"To have a woman similar physics...."

What?!?!

You said you're IT person for some company. Is this 133t sp34k or something?

Second, perhaps given that the rest of the content of your profile makes you already sound a little obsessive and stalkerish maybe you shouldn't sign off by mentioning killing and dying. It makes you sound like a potential participant in a murder-suicide. Actually, now that I think about it, Leo do you own a gun? Perhaps it would be best to turn yours in if you in fact own one. You wouldn't want a cry for help to get out of hand would you?

Anyways, Leo, as much as it pains me to say this, in the end of the day I think the best advice I can give you about trying to find ladies to date is don't. Though there are plenty of fish in the sea, I don't think that the game board would grant you a license. Perhaps you should give up on the ladies for now and take up a hobby, I mean a different hobby besides rooting through your ex's garbage. That all said, Leo I wish you the best of luck.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Why is your office in the janitor's closet?



While I was going through the news today I came across an article that referred to a study by pediatricians (which will be published in the British Medical Journal) describing 12 ways to identify if your child is getting fat. Here are a few of them:

9. High birthweightBIG (sic) babies get bigger faster, according to the study.

10. High weight in infancy IT may seem obvious, but plump kids are more likely to become obese.

11. Excessive weight gain in infancy AGAIN, hungry babies are more likely to continue to eat more when older.

So three of the twelve signs that your child is getting fat is that they're already fat, they're already fat, and they're getting fat? It's good to know that the BMJ has such stringent standards.

-Socialist Swine

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Some of you might remember that a couple of days ago I posted an entry about an article in the New Scientist that discussed some unexplained phenomena that I thought was really cool. Today, I was wandering around the blogosphere and I came across an entry at Wizbang that suggests to me that science education that is provided to our kids is woefully inadequate.

In this entry, Paul, one of Wizbang's editors, draws from the same article that I did but came up with some quite groundless conclusions. At first I just assumed that Paul was an idiot given that he clearly missed something. However, as I looked at more of the entries that he posted, it struck me that he wasn't as stupid as I thought. He is given to inflammatory rhetoric rather than actually providing arguments but then again, I'm guilty of that sometimes as well and I don't think that I'm an idiot (though others might not agree). Then it struck me that Paul must not understand basic scientific methodology or formal reasoning and that such lack of understanding wasn't the result of inherent dumbness but inadequate education.

For example Paul thinks that the fact that we cannot at present explain the placebo effect, the results of study on homeopathy, and cosmic rays that are more energetic than predicted is sufficient for us to doubt the general work of scientists and to dismiss them as doctrinaires (or in his words scientists should admit that they "don't know jack"). Now I don't see how one would draw this conclusion unless one believes that science should provide us with infallible omniscience. However, this is obviously not a reasonable expectation to hold scientists to, indeed they are regular folks who just employ a formal system of inference to deduce generalizations regarding the phenomena we've encountered and not a group of magical seers.

I must admit that the fallibility of scientists doesn't give them free reign to advocate whatever happens to pass their fancy. I mean we don't want to be too epistemologically slack. There are cases where evidence inconsistent with prediction demonstrates the need to discard a theory as irreparably problematic. However, the cases discussed in the New Scientist article are not that irreconcilable with current scientific theories. Most of the cases mentioned are simply cases where we have yet to fully explore rather than ones that falsify current views. For example, the three cases Paul mentioned speak nothing towards the invalidity of any theories in science.

The placebo effect, while being poorly understood, doesn't demonstrate that current biochemical theory is inadequate. It would if the placebo effect was of the same magnitude of the effect of our drug interventions, but such isn't the case. There is a placebo effect and we don't know why, but this just suggests an avenue of further research rather than demonstrates the need to toss out our current notions regarding medicine.

The findings of Madeleine Ennis regarding homeopathy are an isolated case. The findings are strange but they haven't been replicated and even the author of the study is skeptical of her findings, advocating further study before the making of any definitive claims. Moreover, if further study demonstrates that homeopathy has merit this will lead to the progression of our understanding of medicine and chemistry versus lead to the demise of several fields of science.

Finally the discovery of cosmic rays that are more energetic than we would expect suggest that there is a cosmic body that we have yet to discover much more than it suggests that relativity doesn't hold. It's true that we've yet to discover the body that is emitting the energetic particles but when you consider how large the heavens are and how recently it was that the technology needed to examine them was developed it is unsurprising that there are things that we have yet to identify.

The above all being the case, it seems pretty clear that while Paul might have had a 9th grade science teacher that he particularly identified with his understanding of science is woefully inadequate. It is clear that the educational system failed him. That said, I've heard or read many people expressing views that are similar to those of Paul. Such being so, I must say that I'm rather concerned that science curricula are inadequate and that kids should be provided with a far more robust education.

-Socialist Swine



It seems now that we've decided upon Europe as the continent that we want to go to for our vacation despite our earlier post about Hawaii and California. So now it's a matter of where in Europe that we should go. We were looking on expedia.ca and found that it's actually cheaper to go to Munich for 10 days than it is to go to California (which struck us as a little odd, but whatever). So our question to you is, have you ever been to Munich? If you have, is it any fun? Keep in mind that both of us are the geeky artsy type of people who like museums and architecture, though I like wildery type things like mountains and forests as well. Anyhow, any advice or tidbits of information you can provide will be appreciated.

-Socialist Swine



Lately I've been reading and hearing quite a bit about how the NDP refuses to recognize Lillian Eva Dyck as the first New Democrat to sit on Canada's senate. As a registered member of the New Democratic Party I have to say that I quite strongly disagree and am actually a little embarrassed by the party's official stance on the new senator. Now, I fully understand why the policy makers of the party has decided not to recognize Lillian Dyck and I agree with the party's view that the Canadian senate is dangerously undemocratic and is more of a superfluous bureaucratic body than an actual check against the power of the parliament. That said, I think Lillian Dyck is a person whom we should be proud to call a New Democrat. She's dedicated much of her life fighting for the rights of aboriginal women. She's the kind of active passionate advocate for positive change that should be a role model for all New Democrats. As such, despite the fact that her appointment was likely a ploy by Paul Martin to get a little good press without actually doing all that much and the party's rejection of the senate, we should still stand behind Lillian Dyck and embrace her as the first New Democratic senator.

-Socialist Swine





I can't say that I'm surprised by my results. Click on the image to see where you stand on the political spectrum.

-Socialist Swine

Saturday, March 26, 2005

I read the following article at Health Talk:

Boy Or Girl? You Choose The Sex Says Committee

March 25, 2005

A controversial report published by a cross-party Science and Technology Committee in Britain said British parents undergoing fertility treatment (IVF) should be able to choose the sex of their baby.

However, five of the committee's 11 members didn't back the report, saying the findings were unbalanced.

The report, endorsed by the majority of MP's on the committee concluded,"On balance we find no adequate justification for prohibiting the use of sex selection for family balancing."

Some critics warn that allowing sex selection could open the doors to turing unborn babies into consumer items, leading the way for parents to choose eye and hair color, creating the so called "designer babies".

The committee also indicated the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority (HFEA), the country's fertility regulator, should be abolished and replaced with an agency to overlook and ensure clinics and labs meet specific standards.

I've never really held a position one way or another in the "designer babies" debate. However, I have noticed that many people think that there are concerns regarding this issue that must be considered. Such being the case, I'm curious as to what you think about parents being granted the right to have their babies engineered to fit various criteria.

-Socialist Swine

UPDATE: There's a post about a more interesting bioethical issue over at Decrepit Old Fool.

Friday, March 25, 2005

A little while ago the happy-hippie, a regular here on Capitalist Pig vs Socialist Swine, introduced Capitalist Pig to what may the world wide web's funniest little cartoon. Capitalist Pig then turned me onto this little gem, so now I'm passing it onto you. Without further ado:

House of Cosbys!

-Socialist Swine







Okay, check out the Mystical Ball. See if you can identify how it works. I wasted about half an hour tonight playing with it until I figured it out.

-Socialist Swine



Tonight I had to drop by the pet shop down the street to pick up some crickets for my frog Ralph and I saw the funniest looking dog. It was a Brussels Griffin, and this is what it looked like:



...but a little scragglier. If I didn't think Capitalist Pig would have kicked my ass I would have brought the little guy home. Though I guess if our dog Nigel sat on the little guy, which is bound to happen given that Nigel for some reason likes to sit on animals smaller than himself, the little guy would be toast. Yeah, a 5 pound toy dog probably wouldn't like getting sat on by a 90 pound Am-Staff.

-Socialist Swine



Happy Good Friday, or whatever greeting is appropriate, it's time for another Friday Random Ten. Let's see what the good ole MP3 player has for us this week:


1. Good Riddance - Last Believer
(I discovered Good Riddance something like 7 years ago. I went to a Strungout show that Good Riddance happened to be opening for. I've been a fan ever since. If you've never listened to Good Riddance but like politically driven skate-punk I really recommend them. I'd start with their album For God and Country. It's ten years old now, but it still kicks ass.)

2. Knucklehead - New Method
(I just realized that though I've always raved about this band, I never suggested a good album of theirs that people should start with. Well actually any of their albums would be good but most are hard to find. Though I bet that most people could find Hostage Radio. Give them a listen and support independent music.)

3. Hayden - Stem
(This is my favorite of Hayden Desser's songs. I wonder if he's released anything lately. I haven't actually bought one of his albums, or even checked if he's had any new ones, since 1999.)

4. Radiohead - Creep
(Yeah, I admit Radiohead is one of those kind of pretentious artsy bands that I normally hate but they have a rocking live show. I saw them during the tour for the Bends album and I was blown away. The best was when Thom York beat the hell out of some dude in the front row for pushing people. It was wicked. They also had a Theremin, which has to be one of the coolest instruments of all time.)

5. The Weakerthans - Aside
(I don't think that I've ever suggested to people which Weakerthans album that I think is the best. Well it's Reconstruction Site though Fallow is pretty good too. You know, now that I think about it, The Weakerthans are the only emoish band that I don't hate. Well there's Down by Law, I don't hate Down by Law but I don't like them either. I actually like The Weakerthans.)

6. Bad Religion - I Want to Conquer the World
(Though their newer albums suck bald baboon ass they're still one of the greatest bands that are still playing. Their early stuff is amazing. Also despite the fact that they're in their mid 40s they still have a really good live show. I saw them a couple of their shows in Edmonton and Calgary a little while back and they rock hard. Actually, maybe that was 4 years ago.... Hmmm.... I don't really remember.)

7. Johnny Cash - Hurt
(Everyone likes Johnny Cash, so I'll ask you all, what's your favorite Johnny Cash song? Mine would have to be Folsom Prison Blues. That song is seriously good.)

8. NOFX - Murder the Government
(Let's see which NOFX album do I like best. That's a hard one, it's either Punk in Drublic or Whitetrash, Two Heebs, and a Bean. Punk in Drublic has "Brews" and "Don't Call Me White" but Whitetrash, Two Heebs, and a Bean has "Straightedge" and "Bob". Hmmm, I don't think I can choose....)

9. The Roots - Web
(My favorite Roots album would have to be Tipping Point mostly because I really like this song. It's good. I kind of like how it doesn't sound like it's sampled and actually has someone playing the drums and a bass.)

10. Bob Marley - Redemption Song
(This is one of my favorite songs of all time but for some reason I have never been able to learn to play and sing this song at the same time. For some reason the phrasing of the lyrics and the phrasing of the guitar line conflict in my head and go out of sync. Oh well, it's still good when I listen to Marley play it.)

And thus ends another Friday Random Ten. Have a nice long weekend everyone!

-Socialist Swine



I found this meme at scribblingwoman. I'm actually curious as to which books on this list you all have read. The ones I read are in bold:

Here's a list (I'm told) of the top 110 banned books. Bold the ones you've read. Italicize the ones you've partially read. Underline the ones you specifically want to read (at least some of). Read more. Convince others to read some.

#1 The Bible
#2 Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
#3 Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
#4 The Qur'an
#5 Arabian Nights
#6 Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
#7 Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift
#8 Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
#9 Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
#10 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
#11 The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli
#12 Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
#13 Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
#14 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
#15 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
#16 Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
#17 Dracula by Bram Stoker
#18 Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin
#19 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
#20 Essays by Michel de Montaigne
#21 Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
#22 History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
#23 Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
#24 Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
#25 Ulysses by James Joyce (I don't know why this book is considered one of the classics, I found that it sucked ass.)
#26 Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
#27 Animal Farm by George Orwell
#28 Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
#29 Candide by Voltaire
#30 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
#31 Analects by Confucius
#32 Dubliners by James Joyce
#33 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
#34 Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
#35 Red and the Black by Stendhal
#36 Das Capital by Karl Marx
#37 Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire
#38 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#39 Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence
#40 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (I've actually read this book like 15 times, Huxley's great. Though The Doors of Perception wasn't nearly as good as Brave New World.)
#41 Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
#42 Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
#43 The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
#44 All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
#45 Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx
#46 Lord of the Flies by William Golding
#47 Diary by Samuel Pepys
#48 Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
#49 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
#50 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
#51 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak (Despite the opinion of some people I know, I actually think Russian literature isn't very good. It's too much like French literature.)
#52 Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant (I hate this book with a passion but I've read it like 3 times.)
#53 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
#57 Color Purple by Alice Walker
#58 Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
#59 Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke (Locke is definitely one of the densest writers of all time. I wish anyone who's willing to brave him the best of luck.)
#60 Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
#61 Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe
#62 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (See #51)
#63 East of Eden by John Steinbeck
#64 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
#65 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (I know someone's going to give me hell about this but I don't know what people see in Maya Angelou's writing. I think she's an interesting figure and I bet she'd be a great essayist but I find her literary work to be kind of boring to be honest.)
#66 Confessions by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#67 Gargantua and Pantagruel by François Rabelais
#68 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
#69 The Talmud
#70 Social Contract by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#71 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
#72 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
#73 American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
#74 Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
#75 Separate Peace by John Knowles
#76 Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
#77 Red Pony by John Steinbeck (Back in highschool I was supposed to read this for a book report, I hated it so much that I ended up only reading the first and last page of each chapter and then writing a report on that.)
#78 Popol Vuh
#79 Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
#80 Satyricon by Petronius
#81 James and the Giant Peach by Ronald Dahl
#82 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (I actually found this book too disturbing to finish reading.)
#83 Black Boy by Richard Wright
#84 Spirit of the Laws by Charles de Secondat Baron de Montesquieu
#85 Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut (I've read every single book of Vonnegut's and I suggest you do the same, with the exception of Timequake and Jailbird those two books seriously suck.)
#86 Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
#87 Metaphysics by Aristotle (This is the only book by the big three Greeks that I think are useful and interesting. Well the Nicomachean Ethics might be too but I've never read it. I hate Plato and Socrates.)
#88 Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
#89 Institutes of the Christian Religion by Jean Calvin
#90 Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse (Though I have read Sidhartha in three languages, does that count?)
#91 Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
#92 Sanctuary by William Faulkner
#93 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
#94 Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
#95 Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
#96 Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
#97 General Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud (This book is a great piece of comedic fiction. I recommend it to everyone who wants a good laugh.)
#98 Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
#99 Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Alexander Brown
#100 Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
#101 Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines
#102 Émile Jean by Jacques Rousseau
#103 Nana by Émile Zola
#104 Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
#105 Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
#106 Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (It took me a while to realize that I hate Russian literature.)
#107 Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
#108 Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
#109 Ox-Bow Incident by Walter Van Tilburg Clark
#110 Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

-Socialist Swine

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Lately I keep running across claims of creationists about fictional inconsistencies with evolutionary theory or imaginary inexplicable phenomena within biology. Every time I come across such claims it just makes me think that only those who are patently stupid support creationism. There are actual phenomena that seem to fly in the face of currently accepted views in the sciences (before anyone runs off to denounce science, none of unexplained phenomena demonstrate inadequacies with the scientific method, they just demonstrate that our theories are not yet complete) I have no idea why creationists feel the need to make up things that anyone who has ever read a highschool level text book in biology would know are mistaken. Anyhow, here's a few of the currently inexplicable things that happen in the universe (as they are described by the New Scientist):

Not-so-constant constants

IN 1997 astronomer John Webb and his team at the University of New South Wales in Sydney analysed the light reaching Earth from distant quasars. On its 12-billion-year journey, the light had passed through interstellar clouds of metals such as iron, nickel and chromium, and the researchers found these atoms had absorbed some of the photons of quasar light - but not the ones they were expecting.

If the observations are correct, the only vaguely reasonable explanation is that a constant of physics called the fine structure constant, or alpha, had a different value at the time the light passed through the clouds.

But that's heresy. Alpha is an extremely important constant that determines how light interacts with matter - and it shouldn't be able to change. Its value depends on, among other things, the charge on the electron, the speed of light and Planck's constant. Could one of these really have changed?

No one in physics wanted to believe the measurements. Webb and his team have been trying for years to find an error in their results. But so far they have failed.

Webb's are not the only results that suggest something is missing from our understanding of alpha. A recent analysis of the only known natural nuclear reactor, which was active nearly 2 billion years ago at what is now Oklo in Gabon, also suggests something about light's interaction with matter has changed.

The ratio of certain radioactive isotopes produced within such a reactor depends on alpha, and so looking at the fission products left behind in the ground at Oklo provides a way to work out the value of the constant at the time of their formation. Using this method, Steve Lamoreaux and his colleagues at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico suggest that alpha may have decreased by more than 4 per cent since Oklo started up (Physical Review D, vol 69, p 121701).

There are gainsayers who still dispute any change in alpha. Patrick Petitjean, an astronomer at the Institute of Astrophysics in Paris, led a team that analysed quasar light picked up by the Very Large Telescope (VLT) in Chile and found no evidence that alpha has changed. But Webb, who is now looking at the VLT measurements, says that they require a more complex analysis than Petitjean's team has carried out. Webb's group is working on that now, and may be in a position to declare the anomaly resolved - or not - later this year.

"It's difficult to say how long it's going to take," says team member Michael Murphy of the University of Cambridge. "The more we look at these new data, the more difficulties we see." But whatever the answer, the work will still be valuable. An analysis of the way light passes through distant molecular clouds will reveal more about how the elements were produced early in the universe's history.


The Pioneer anomaly

THIS is a tale of two spacecraft. Pioneer 10 was launched in 1972; Pioneer 11 a year later. By now both craft should be drifting off into deep space with no one watching. However, their trajectories have proved far too fascinating to ignore.

That's because something has been pulling - or pushing - on them, causing them to speed up. The resulting acceleration is tiny, less than a nanometre per second per second. That's equivalent to just one ten-billionth of the gravity at Earth's surface, but it is enough to have shifted Pioneer 10 some 400,000 kilometres off track. NASA lost touch with Pioneer 11 in 1995, but up to that point it was experiencing exactly the same deviation as its sister probe. So what is causing it?

Nobody knows. Some possible explanations have already been ruled out, including software errors, the solar wind or a fuel leak. If the cause is some gravitational effect, it is not one we know anything about. In fact, physicists are so completely at a loss that some have resorted to linking this mystery with other inexplicable phenomena.

Bruce Bassett of the University of Portsmouth, UK, has suggested that the Pioneer conundrum might have something to do with variations in alpha, the fine structure constant (see "Not so constant constants", page 37). Others have talked about it as arising from dark matter - but since we don't know what dark matter is, that doesn't help much either. "This is all so maddeningly intriguing," says Michael Martin Nieto of the Los Alamos National Laboratory. "We only have proposals, none of which has been demonstrated."

Nieto has called for a new analysis of the early trajectory data from the craft, which he says might yield fresh clues. But to get to the bottom of the problem what scientists really need is a mission designed specifically to test unusual gravitational effects in the outer reaches of the solar system. Such a probe would cost between $300 million and $500 million and could piggyback on a future mission to the outer reaches of the solar system (www.arxiv.org/gr-qc/0411077).

"An explanation will be found eventually," Nieto says. "Of course I hope it is due to new physics - how stupendous that would be. But once a physicist starts working on the basis of hope he is heading for a fall." Disappointing as it may seem, Nieto thinks the explanation for the Pioneer anomaly will eventually be found in some mundane effect, such as an unnoticed source of heat on board the craft.


Ultra-energetic cosmic rays

FOR more than a decade, physicists in Japan have been seeing cosmic rays that should not exist. Cosmic rays are particles - mostly protons but sometimes heavy atomic nuclei - that travel through the universe at close to the speed of light. Some cosmic rays detected on Earth are produced in violent events such as supernovae, but we still don't know the origins of the highest-energy particles, which are the most energetic particles ever seen in nature. But that's not the real mystery.

As cosmic-ray particles travel through space, they lose energy in collisions with the low-energy photons that pervade the universe, such as those of the cosmic microwave background radiation. Einstein's special theory of relativity dictates that any cosmic rays reaching Earth from a source outside our galaxy will have suffered so many energy-shedding collisions that their maximum possible energy is 5 × 1019 electronvolts. This is known as the Greisen-Zatsepin-Kuzmin limit.

Over the past decade, however, the University of Tokyo's Akeno Giant Air Shower Array - 111 particle detectors spread out over 100 square kilometres - has detected several cosmic rays above the GZK limit. In theory, they can only have come from within our galaxy, avoiding an energy-sapping journey across the cosmos. However, astronomers can find no source for these cosmic rays in our galaxy. So what is going on?

One possibility is that there is something wrong with the Akeno results. Another is that Einstein was wrong. His special theory of relativity says that space is the same in all directions, but what if particles found it easier to move in certain directions? Then the cosmic rays could retain more of their energy, allowing them to beat the GZK limit.

Physicists at the Pierre Auger experiment in Mendoza, Argentina, are now working on this problem. Using 1600 detectors spread over 3000 square kilometres, Auger should be able to determine the energies of incoming cosmic rays and shed more light on the Akeno results.

Alan Watson, an astronomer at the University of Leeds, UK, and spokesman for the Pierre Auger project, is already convinced there is something worth following up here. "I have no doubts that events above 1020 electronvolts exist. There are sufficient examples to convince me," he says. The question now is, what are they? How many of these particles are coming in, and what direction are they coming from? Until we get that information, there's no telling how exotic the true explanation could be.

For those of you who are as geeky as me, there are another 10 unexplained phenomena at New Scientist's site.

-Socialist Swine



From the Alligator Online:

Capitol bill aims to control ‘leftist’ profs
THE LAW COULD LET STUDENTS SUE FOR UNTOLERATED BELIEFS.

By JAMES VANLANDINGHAM
Alligator Staff Writer

TALLAHASSEE — Republicans on the House Choice and Innovation Committee voted along party lines Tuesday to pass a bill that aims to stamp out “leftist totalitarianism” by “dictator professors” in the classrooms of Florida’s universities.

The Academic Freedom Bill of Rights, sponsored by Rep. Dennis Baxley, R-Ocala, passed 8-to-2 despite strenuous objections from the only two Democrats on the committee.

The bill has two more committees to pass before it can be considered by the full House.

While promoting the bill Tuesday, Baxley said a university education should be more than “one biased view by the professor, who as a dictator controls the classroom,” as part of “a misuse of their platform to indoctrinate the next generation with their own views.”

The bill sets a statewide standard that students cannot be punished for professing beliefs with which their professors disagree. Professors would also be advised to teach alternative “serious academic theories” that may disagree with their personal views.

According to a legislative staff analysis of the bill, the law would give students who think their beliefs are not being respected legal standing to sue professors and universities.

Students who believe their professor is singling them out for “public ridicule” – for instance, when professors use the Socratic method to force students to explain their theories in class – would also be given the right to sue.

“Some professors say, ‘Evolution is a fact. I don’t want to hear about Intelligent Design (a creationist theory), and if you don’t like it, there’s the door,’” Baxley said, citing one example when he thought a student should sue.

Rep. Dan Gelber, D-Miami Beach, warned of lawsuits from students enrolled in Holocaust history courses who believe the Holocaust never happened.

Similar suits could be filed by students who don’t believe astronauts landed on the moon, who believe teaching birth control is a sin or even by Shands medical students who refuse to perform blood transfusions and believe prayer is the only way to heal the body, Gelber added.

“This is a horrible step,” he said. “Universities will have to hire lawyers so our curricula can be decided by judges in courtrooms. Professors might have to pay court costs — even if they win — from their own pockets. This is not an innocent piece of legislation.”

The staff analysis also warned the bill may shift responsibility for determining whether a student’s freedom has been infringed from the faculty to the courts.

But Baxley brushed off Gelber’s concerns. “Freedom is a dangerous thing, and you might be exposed to things you don’t want to hear,” he said. “Being a businessman, I found out you can be sued for anything. Besides, if students are being persecuted and ridiculed for their beliefs, I think they should be given standing to sue.”

During the committee hearing, Baxley cast opposition to his bill as “leftists” struggling against “mainstream society.”

“The critics ridicule me for daring to stand up for students and faculty,” he said, adding that he was called a McCarthyist.

Baxley later said he had a list of students who were discriminated against by professors, but refused to reveal names because he felt they would be persecuted.

Rep. Eleanor Sobel, D-Hollywood, argued universities and the state Board of Governors already have policies in place to protect academic freedom. Moreover, a state law outlining how professors are supposed to teach would encroach on the board’s authority to manage state schools.

“The big hand of state government is going into the universities telling them how to teach,” she said. “This bill is the antithesis of academic freedom.”

But Baxley compared the state’s universities to children, saying the legislature should not give them money without providing “guidance” to their behavior.

“Professors are accountable for what they say or do,” he said. “They’re accountable to the rest of us in society … All of a sudden the faculty think they can do what they want and shut us out. Why is it so unheard of to say the professor shouldn’t be a dictator and control that room as their totalitarian niche?”

In an interview before the meeting, Baxley said “arrogant, elitist academics are swarming” to oppose the bill, and media reports misrepresented his intentions.

“I expect to be out there on my own pretty far,” he said. “I don’t expect to be part of a team.”

Is it just me or do ultra-conservative Republicans seem to actually want to make the next generation dumber? I really can't understand this strange belief held by some that the material taught in classrooms is somehow a matter of political ideology. I also find it alarming that there are people who are arguing that academics should be controlled. Calls for controlling intellectuals and academics historically have preceded things like the Nazi takeover of Germany, the Stalinist purges, and the Khmer Rouge's killing fields. Now, I'm not saying this is going to happen in Florida but it's the same kind of thinking that's underlying the so called "Academic Freedom" Bill of Rights that was behind the persecution of academics at the hands of the Nazis, the Stalinist KGB, and the Khmer Rouge, namely the notion that knowledge is dangerous if it isn't consistent with a particular ideological slant. I hope that there's a decently loud public outcry in Florida to get the state's legislators to reconsider their position on this bill.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. It just occurred to me that persecution of academics also preceded the purges of the cultural revolution in China.







Does anyone else see a similarity?

-Socialist Swine




"This is what I was doing every time they talked about ad money...."

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

"I got your civil liberties right here buddy...."



Sometimes debates get a little too serious and people stop actually listening to one another. I think this is true of the debate regarding Terri Schiavo. The best way to deal with this excessive somberness, in my opinion, is with a little levity. What's more cheerful than comic strips? Nothing, that's what. So here's a couple I found over at Respectful Insolence:







-Socialist Swine





The other day I was reading an old issue of Spin magazine (I believe it's the one from August, 2004). While I was thumbing through I ran across an article about the 50 greatest rock frontmen of all time. Well after going through it all I've decided that Spin magazine has the musical taste of a 13 year old in 1988. For example the top 10 of their list included:

1) Prince
2) Mick Jagger
3) Robert Plant
4) James Brown
5) Jimi Hendrix
6) Elvis Presley
7) Axl Rose
8) David Lee Roth
9) David Bowie
10) Bono

Now I can agree with a few of these people, I will grant that James Brown, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Robert Plant and perhaps David Bowie should be somewhere on the top 50 but Prince?!?! Axl Rose??? David Lee Roth? C'mon these people all suck hairy goat testicles. Okay, Prince might be a decent basketball player, at least according to Charlie Murphy, and he can play guitar decently, but anyone who changes their name to:

should not be considered the greatest rock frontman of all time. Such being the case I've decided to provide an alternate list, one that I think is more accurate, of the 10 greatest rock frontmen of all time! So here goes:


THE 10 GREATEST ROCK FRONTMEN OF ALL TIME

1) Elvis Presley

Why him: Well he stole rock and roll from black musicians and brought it to the rest of us. Sure he turned into a fat guy who died taking a shit but without him none of us would even know what rock and roll is.

Signature move: Jiggling his fat ass and sweating profusely in a white skin tight jumpsuit with a cape. Eating fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches and lovin' his momma more than any grown man should.

Bonus: About 75 lbs of lard.


2) Johnny Cash

Why him: Some might argue that Cash isn't a rock musician but only a country singer. Those people are idiots, Johnny Cash invented rock-a-billy, he paved the way for groups like The Reverend Horton Heat and Mojo Nixon. He was a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. Besides he kicked some serious ass.

Signature move: Kicking ass. Singing lyrics like, "I shot a man in Reno just to see him die," and doing more drugs than Keith Richards, Robert Plant, and those lame-asses from Pink Floyd combined.

Bonus: Being dead yet able to kick most people's asses. If John Wayne was a musician he'd be Johnny fuckin' Cash.


3) Bob Marley

Why him: He wrote timeless classics like "Who Shot the Sheriff", "No Woman, No Cry", and "Redemption Song". He's also the first person who sang a protest song that didn't sound like a spoiled brat whining about stuff they don't know crap all about. Furthermore he has the wickedest dreadlocks that have ever existed in the history of this planet.

Signature move: Smoking a joint the size of Texas.

Bonus: Some musicians claim to be gods but Bob Marley is actually a religious figure to some.


4) Bruce Dickinson

Why him: Because Iron Maiden seriously rocks and I wanted at least one living person in the top five. Also no one in the world has the ability to screech like Bruce Dickinson, if there were really banshees they would take lessons from him.

Signature move: Looking like a modern day Mad Max but without anything lame like the Thunderdome and Tina Turner.

Bonus: He's a former Olympic fencer so if you screw around with him expect an epee in your ass.


5) Joey Ramone

Why him: He's the grand-daddy of punk. Furthermore, without punk music we'd still all be listening to Pink Floyd, be pretentious, and have long permed hair. In other words punk rock saved us from a fate worse than death, so you better be grateful for all that Joey and the other Ramones (with the exception of Johnny who was lame) have done for you, unless you like Pink Floyd. If that's the case then you can go to hell.

Signature move: Playing on stage under the lights where it's like 90 degrees in black jeans and a leather jacket without sweating in the least bit.

Bonus: GABBA GABBA HEY!!!


6) Bootsy Collins

Why him: He made looking like a complete idiot kind of cool. Moreover, there's not a person living that has command of the bass guitar like Bootsy. Les Claypool of Primus and Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers come close, but not that close. Jaco Pastorius was better but he's dead so he doesn't count. That and Bootsie helped George Clinton help us find the funk. On a scale of one to funk, Bootsy is Bootzilla.

Signature move:


Bonus:



7) Janis Joplin

Why her: In a time when music was dominated by girly hippie men Janis Joplin reminded us what it was like to have a set of balls. She drank, swore, and rocked harder than Jefferson Airplane, The Loving spoonful, and The Byrds combined. Yeah, people were way wimpier back then.

Signature move: Being blind drunk on Southern Comfort and screeching "Me and Bobby McGee".

Bonus: She wasn't Big Mama Cass.


8) Yoko Ono

Why her: Because I'm just fucking with you.


8 (for real) Kurt Cobain

Why him: He made us collectively realize that five minute piano solos in a 17 minute song sang by a pretentious prick about rain storms in autumn were in fact boring and lame instead of cool and touching as some people had mistakenly thought. I really hate Axl Rose.

Signature move: ODing on heroin. Making a light snack of two barrels of a 12 gauge.

Bonus: For a couple of years he kept Courtney Love off of the stage.


9) James Hetfield

Why him: Whether you love or hate Metallica, James Hetfield and the gang brought heavy metal to a whole new level. Without the influence of Hetfield there would have never been bands like Korn, Limp Bizkit, Slipknot, and Linkin Park. Wait a minute, it might not have been so bad if those bands never made it. They all kind of suck.

Signature move: Suing people for copyright infringement.

Bonus: He might sue you!


10) Fat Mike

Why him: Well because without Fat Mike and NOFX there would be no contemporary punk music. He picked up where people like Jello Biafra, Henry Rollins, and Glenn Danzig left off in the mid to late '80s. He also has a self professed obsession with "big lesbians", sings about Jewish skinheads, and isn't really that fat.

Signature move: Not really being able to sing and having the other members of his band actually sing the hard parts of their songs.

Bonus: He'll sing for booze.


-Socialist Swine

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

"This is how I'm going to choke the life out of Alberta's universities."

-Socialist Swine



It's bad enough to be a student that doesn't go to class, doesn't do the assignments, and puts no effort into learning the material. However, to be all those things and then to send spam disguised as a query about the textbook to the person who marks your work is really taking the extra step to ensure that you will not pass the class.

-Socialist Swine



Today as I was driving home I decided to listen to Charles Adler online again and I've decided that Adler must be a satirist. The first topic he addressed in today's show was a rant about Martha Stewart. Now, I agree with Adler that Martha Stewart is a liar and a criminal but I can't agree with the wackiness that came out from Adler and his guest about this topic. For example, Debbie Schlussel, the lawyer/pundit that Adler had on to address Stewart made claims such as, "women and effeminate men lack the judgment to identify criminals from honest people," "The Shawshank Redemption has given the American public a rosy picture of ex-convicts because in it everyone's innocent," (which is in fact not true, it was a joke in the movie that everyone claimed to be innocent, and quite obviously one for anyone who's less dense than lead), and "ex-convicts should be shamed and humiliated by society."

Adler then switched the topic to racism. In this discussion Adler first notes that racism is a universal disease and that immigrants to Canada are often themselves racist as such we should be less tolerent of them. So Chuck because other people have a flaw then we should share in their flaw? By that kind of reasoning I should be a serial killing pedophile because there are serial killers and pedophiles out there. If I could say anything to Chucky Adler, I would suggest that if he didn't want to look stupid he should take a moment to think before he speaks, and then after that consider what he's about to say again (just to make sure something stupid didn't sneak by his initial reflection), and then finally not say anything because it's too late and the opportunity to speak has passed.

-Socialist Swine



I'm not really much of a fan of break dancing but you have to watch this video. It's quite impressive.

-Socialist Swine




"In this match between Stephen Harper and a chair the victor is...."

-Socialist Swine

Monday, March 21, 2005

Lately everything I've heard about Diane Ablonczy, the Member of Parliament that's supposed to be representing me in the federal legislature, seems to suggest that she's representing me by screeching loudly and acting like a classless idiot. There's two incidents that I have in mind. The first is her rejection of minister of immigration Joe Volpe's concerns that highly educated and able immigrants to Canada seem to have a difficult time finding gainful employment. Now, if she actually argued that immigrants in fact can find jobs in the fields that they're trained in that would be fine. However, she rejected Volpe's concerns as "rhetoric and fluff" because he "failed to provide solutions". So someone can't note a problem unless they already have a solution for it? Diane are you really that stupid?

Next, Ablonczy decides that question period in the House of Commons would be a good time to stand up and accuse members of the Liberal Party of Canada of stealing from the Canadian public. Now, I'm sure she's referring to the sponsorship scandal but that's still a matter for the courts and the Gomery Commission, to publicly make accusations at this point is still slander. Moreover, a Member of Parliament should realize this (especially after the Speaker of the House warned her against making the statement which she did). I actually hope that she gets disbarred for her rants, having her represent me is embarrassing.

-Socialist Swine



Today I had the pleasure of listening to Charles Adler on the radio as I was driving home. On today's show he decided to berate the Ipsos-Reid polling company for falsely claiming that 4 million Canadians are racists to get public attention for "their cause". When I heard this I was quite surprised. I never thought that polling companies had causes. Especially one as large as Ipsos-Reid. Such being the case I had to look up the poll mentioned by Adler to see what it says. Here are some of the polls findings:

17% of Canadians (about 5.44 million people) have claimed to have experienced racism first hand. This is not to say that 5.44 million Canadians have been or claim to be the victims of racism just to have "experienced" it whatever that means. So this doesn't seem to indicate the number of Canadians who are racists.

1.7 million Canadians would not welcome someone of another race as their neighbor. This I actually found surprising, but still this doesn't say that 4 million Canadians are racists at best it says that 1.7 million Canadians aren't particularly friendly neighbors.

3.1 million Canadians say that ethnicity matters at their work place. Again, this says nothing about what those 3.4 million Canadians think about those of other ethnicities just that they think race affects their work place in some way. This might actually be a sign that people are sensitive to minority rights issues rather than being racists themselves.

The closest claim that the poll makes to suggesting that 4 million Canadians are racists is its assertion that 3.4 million Canadians said that they would not marry outside of their race. This again isn't a sign of widespread racism, nor does Ipsos-Reid suggest that it is so. There are numerous cultures where marriage outside of that culture is frowned upon. I think this is an archaic close minded practice but I wouldn't say it's racism. Refusing to marry someone different doesn't mean that you hate them, just that you have some very limited views.

All the above being the case, I'm unsure as to why Adler suggests that Ipsos-Reid (or whomever commissioned the poll) is trying to push an agenda by claiming that an inordinately high number of Canadians are racist. Given that the poll doesn't make any direct claims about how many people are racist. I might agree that the poll asks vague questions and as such don't say much about anything interesting. However, it seems to me that it's Adler that's trying to push an agenda of anti-multiculturalism by misciting and misconstruing the Ipsos-Reid Poll.

-Socialist Swine



Here's a snippet of the next Rocky movie.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Okay, so I lied but the skit's pretty funny isn't it?



This week on Liberal Eye for the Conservative Guy we have the pleasure of meeting Dwight. Everyone here's Dwight:

I’m an outspoken Conservative of 21, born and raised and dwelling in Jacksonville Florida. I have manners and a sense of humor and an insatiable taste in Oriental cinema. I’m an artist, a musician and an actor and I’m working to be a model, but when I’m neither of those I’m a web and graphic designer, videographer and editor, or hosting my Internet Radio Show. I love God, I love my family and I love my country, each of these so bad it hurts. I cry during the national anthem and I shake every soldier’s hand I come across, dirty or otherwise. Rush Limbaugh is my role model, Ann Coulter is my fantasy, Sean Hannity is a great American, and yes, I own a gun.

Hello Dwight, there are a number of issues that you might like to address regarding your profile. First, you might want to consider your opening sentence. Maybe you don’t want to say that you’re an “outspoken” conservative. It’s okay to say you’re conservative, I mean when in Rome…. It’s the “outspoken” part that’s an issue. When you say “outspoken”, people just think “shrill” this thought is then further supported by some of the stuff that you say later.

That said, there are further issues that you must deal with concerning the rest of your profile as well.

We’ll start with this sentence: “I’m an artist, a musician and an actor and I’m working to be a model.” You also say that you have a radio show. Do you know what they say about having a face meant for radio? Well anyhow, don’t say that you’re trying to be a model, saying that gives all the women who aren’t visually impaired the idea that you’re a liar and no one wants to date a liar.

From there your profile only goes down hill. For example you go on to say, “I love God, I love my family and I love my country, each of these so bad it hurts. I cry during the national anthem and I shake every soldier’s hand I come across, dirty or otherwise.” Now the first three clauses are okay. It’s nice that you’re religious, patriotic, and close to your family. The “so bad it hurts” part sounds insane or really emo, which amounts to the same thing. This is only made worse by your next sentence. You cry during the national anthem? You cry during the national anthem?!?!

Crying in public again suggests that you're far too emo. Unless you're trying to appeal to a woman who's looking for a really sad man who writes her poetry while strumming a guitar and routinely mists up his thick black rimmed glasses you shouldn't say that you like to cry in public, even during the national anthem.

Despite what some people say, it’s still not okay for a man (even one who listens to as much emo as you must) to cry in public, unless their team loses the Superbowl (or Stanley Cup), they lost a limb in a terrible table saw accident, or their buddy jumped on a grenade for them.

Cowboy the fuck up already! Wait, I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have said that. Do you need a tissue? Have I been insensitive?

Moving on, next you say that Rush Limbaugh is your role model? Are we talking about the same Rush Limbaugh? The fat ass with the addiction to pain killers? Do you really want to tell women that you want to be bald lard-ass hooked on OxyContin? Even Rush himself says that he’s no role model.

Finally, you end your profile with this little gem: “yes, I own a gun.” Remember what I said about insane? That’s not the impression you want to give to the ladies. Hannidate is a dating service. I’m not sure how guns are relevant to dating. Moreover, I don’t want to know how you think they are. Either way maybe you should get rid of that line about the gun or perhaps given your “eccentricities” you should get rid of that gun altogether. I think everyone including yourself would be a little safer.

-Socialist Swine

Update: Capitalist Pig and my sister noted that I was mistaken, Dwight could be a model. If he modelled shoes. I stand corrected.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Here's another example of why private health care probably isn't something that you would want. Courtesy of atrios:

George Bush signed the law which allows the hospitals to make this decision:

A patient's inability to pay for medical care combined with a prognosis that renders further care futile are two reasons a hospital might suggest cutting off life support, the chief medical officer at St. Luke's Episcopal Hospital said Monday.


Dr. David Pate's comments came as the family of Spiro Nikolouzos fights to keep St. Luke's from turning off the ventilator and artificial feedings keeping the 68-year-old grandfather alive.

St. Luke's notified Jannette Nikolouzos in a March 1 letter that it would withdraw life-sustaining care of her husband of 34 years in 10 days, which would be Friday. Mario Caba-llero (sic), the attorney representing the family, said he is seeking a two-week extension, at minimum, to give the man more time to improve and to give his family more time to find an alternative facility.

Caballero said he would discuss that issue with hospital attorneys today.

Pate said he could not address Nikolouzos' case specifically because he doesn't have permission from the family but could talk about the situation in general.

"If there is agreement on the part of all the physicians that the patient does have an irreversible, terminal illness," he said, "we're not going to drag this on forever ...

"When the hospital is really correct and the care is futile ... you're not going to find many hospitals or long-term acute care facilities (that) want to take that case," he said. "Any facility that's going to be receiving a patient in that condition ... is going to want to be paid for it, of course."

I'm actually surprised that more people haven't made a bigger stink about this given the stink that is being raised over Terri Schiavo. Here's a family where everyone wants the life of their father to be preserved and the hospital wants to pull the plug. Shouldn't people be more concerned about this case then a case where at least some of the family actually wants their loved one's suffering to end? Since when did the wishes of a hospital, especially regarding issues this grave (no pun intended), outweigh the wishes of the family? It's a sad day when your life or death depends on how much money you have.

-Socialist Swine



After my rather odd dream tonight I was unable to get back to sleep, so I decided that I would take a wander through the blogosphere and came across two entries at Powerline that struck me as quite funny when considered together. The first states:

One "Chris Rock," the host, whom I've never otherwise heard of, led off with an idiotic anti-Bush tirade. $70 trillion? Interesting statistic. What was noteworthy was not the host, who obviously knows nothing, but the crowd--every single person there laughed and applauded. So much for the Academy Awards.

The second asserts:

Hard leftists so rarely attempt reasoned arguments (you know, the kind with distinctions and other such subtleties)

Oh, you mean like the distinction between a comedian and a journalist? I must have missed something given that I thought comedians weren't supposed to be constrained to accurately report statistics. Furthermore, I also thought that audiences watching comedians are supposed to laugh when what the comic says is funny not judge how accurately their jokes report the effects of the governments economic policy. I guess I stand corrected. This reminds me of the time that the guy with the bowtie at Crossfire accused Jon Stewart of not fact checking. I mean, c'mon Jon Stewart, don't you realize that comedy is all about accuracy in reporting? If you don't carefully fact check inaccuracies might make their way into your jokes, and then the very fabric of society will fall apart! Some people are such dolts.

-Socialist Swine



I found this over at Five of Five:

Letter To My Favourite Bishop

Dear Bishop Henry,

Your idea that the local parish priest withold the the sacrament, indeed eternal salvation itself, from Catholic Members of Parliament who do not uphold canon law against homosexuals and baby killers is a stroke of genius. One day Catholic seminarians will be taught about the Henry Doctrine I'm sure. If a Member of Parliament can be made to fear for his eternal salvation then i'm sure they'll start doing the right thing.

My problem is, i don't think this is going far enough. As you know canon law is quite expansive. For example I recently discovered through Sun Media that Peter McKay and Belinda Stronich are involved in an intimate relationship. They appear to have no shame or modesty and are flouting their pathetic little tryst. Just thinking about those two entwined in lust sends a shiver up my spine. Anyway, i believe you should look into this clear violation of canon law. I know striking up a secret Inquisition board and calling secret witnesses is a hassle, but it must be done. The good news is that it is not Peter McKay and Scott Brison which a lot of us were worried about. Please handle this discretely, not in your usual flamboyant manner, they're not Liberals after all.

Which remainds me, my group is adamant that you should not be shaming any Catholic Conservative Members of Parliament for reasons that are very very complicated and I can't go into them right now. But I know you agree because you have never condemned any Catholic Conservative Party Members of Parliament for violating canon law. And believe me, just between you and me, they can be a sordid bunch when you dig around a bit.

By the way, I heard one of the Conservative Members, from Calgary no less, was on a Catholic TV show and was complaining about the burden of being a single Catholic male. Apparently he is struggling with the sin of Onan. I thought you might chat with him and offer some private shaming. I'll forward his name, secretly, to your committee in the usual manner.


regards,
a loyal supporter

Brilliant, simply brilliant.

-Socialist Swine



I just had the weirdest dream that I had to write down.

First I find myself riding down a really steep hill on a busy street on a little child’s tricycle which I can barely control and keep upright because it has no brakes so it’s flying down the hill at break-neck speeds. Then I ride the tricycle into a really thick forest where I come to a theme park. In the foresty theme park there’s a quite large play house on top of a cliff. I climb up the cliff, which is actually quite a hard climb, and enter the house. When I go inside, the play house is completely empty except for a doll and a teddy bear; for some reason I find this terrifying and begin to panic. I feel so panicky that I have to run out the house at top speed, jump down the cliff, which is like thirty feet high, and try to escape from the house. When I get to the bottom of the cliff, I hop back onto the tricycle and ride away blindly into the forest as fast as I can. All of a sudden I find myself on top of a steep hill facing the prospect down a busy street. For a moment I feel hesitant given the obvious danger of riding a child’s tricycle without brakes down a rather steep and busy street but my need to escape the playhouse forces me ignore my reservations.

At this point the above scenario repeats itself twice until I finally get away from the playhouse once and for all and find myself in the basement suite that my sister used to live in three years ago. When I enter the basement suite, it too is empty except for a book of math puzzles. So I begin solving the math puzzles until for some reason they become really scary as well. Then I realized that I must have been dreaming and woke up.

What an odd dream.

-Socialist Swine

Saturday, March 19, 2005

or

Capitalist Pig and I have been trying to decide what we want to do this summer for our vacation. The options on the table right now are San Francisco and San Diego (both places where we've been before and really loved) or Honolulu. The problem is that we can't decide which is a better option. We both know that we'd have fun in California, we always do when we go, but we've never been to Hawaii. However, we're also concerned that though Honolulu might be nice and tropical it might be kind of boring, this is especially a concern because being the land-lubbers that we are, neither of us can really swim. So my question to you all is, do you know what there is to do in Hawaii in June that doesn't involve swimming? Better yet, if there's anyone from Hawaii who's reading this, let us know about the cool little things there that only the locals know about. Anyhow, any information that you could provide to us would be greatly appreciated.

-Socialist Swine



Courtesy of TBO.com:

ST. PETERSBURG - Police handcuffed the wrists and legs of a 5-year-old girl at a school this week after the kindergartner attacked a teacher and the assistant principal, officials said.
.
.
.
The St. Petersburg police officers involved - two training officers and two probationary officers - were not disciplined because their actions were deemed within policy, police spokesman Bill Proffitt said.
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.
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She first was restrained with steel, standard-issue handcuffs but slipped out of those, he said. She then was bound with plastic flexible cuffs but continued to struggle, kicking at officers as they walked her out of the school to a squad car, Proffitt said.

She was put in the back of the cruiser but continued kicking one officer in the arms and legs, so another set of handcuffs was used to restrain her legs, a police report says.

The fact that it takes four male police officers with two pairs of handcuffs to deal with a 5-year-old girl clearly demonstrates to me that men are unfit to enforce the law. I mean just use common sense!

-Socialist Swine




"Shoot, shovel, and shut-up."

-Socialist Swine




Click here to make big.

-Socialist Swine



While looking through this month's copy of Discover magazine Capitalist Pig found an advertisement that led us to a great website, evolvefish.com. Here are a few things that one can purchase there:



















Mmmmmm.... So sacrilicious....

-Socialist Swine

Friday, March 18, 2005

You Are Incredibly Logical

(You got 100% of the questions right) Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic You think rationally, clearly, and quickly. A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

-Socialist Swine



This post is for my more Canadian readers. As of late I've been following along with CBC Radio's 50 tracks. Now more often than not I find that the songs that have been proposed as being among the best offered by the Canadian music scene have been actually quite crappy (at least I find them quite crappy). So I thought I would ask you lot what 10 (or 20) albums (to be a little different than the CBC) do you think are representative of the best of Canadian music (if anyone says anything by the Barenaked Ladies or Celine Dion, I'm going to find where you live and give you a wedgie)? Here are my picks (in no particular order and picked for no other reason than I like them).

1. Dayglo Abortions - Two Dogs Fucking-Deux Chien Fourrent
2. Leonard Cohen - Songs From a Room
3. The Tragically Hip - Road Apples
4. The Smalls - Waste and Tragedy
5. Sloan - One Chord to Another
6. Corb Lund Band - Five Dollar Bill
7. Propagandhi - Less Talk, More Rock
8. The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site
9. Hayden - Everything I Long For
10. SNFU - If You Swear You'll Catch No Fish
11. Strapping Young Lad - No Sleep 'Til Bedtime
12. Rheostatics - Whale Music
13. Gordon Lightfoot - I'm the One
14. Disciples of Power - Power Trap
15. Knucklehead - Little Boots
16. Chixdiggit - Born on the First of July
17. Holly McNarland - Stuff
18. Eric's Trip - Love Tara
19. Huevos Rancheros - Dig In
20. Shadowy Men From a Shadowy Planet - Dim the Lights, Chill the Ham

-Socialist Swine



For the last few years I've repeatedly heard stories about people being turned out of hospitals in record time in Alberta. I always thought it was exaggeration. I mean when someone tells me that they had a baby and that afternoon they were released to go home, I just assume they're speaking figuratively. However, I'm starting to think that people might have been telling me the literal truth.

Yesterday a colleague of mine had to get surgery as the result of a head injury, a pretty invasive surgery at that. Yet today he was released from the hospital. Now to need to have such a high rate of turnover is a sign that there really is a major shortage of beds. Now the only reason why there are so few beds that someone who just received major surgery get released in about 24 hours is that the Klein government was terribly short sighted when they ordered the hospital closures of the '90s. Moreover, their reluctance to pony up and build new facilities is only aggravating the problem. They keep talking about public private partnerships but I've yet to see one that's successful. Indeed, just today I heard that Network Health, the private surgical clinic in Calgary, actually costs the government 10% more than equivalently sized public facilities and actually failed to reduce waiting time for patients. Now, I grant that this was something that I heard on the radio and you can't always trust radio personalities. Nonetheless, despite the fact that Alberta is running at a fairly large surplus the PC party has up to now failed miserably in improving the general condition of health care in Alberta. This is defintely something that we Albertans have to take our government to task for.

-Socialist Swine



Everyone put your hands together. It's time for another FRIDAY RANDOM TEN!!!!


1. Corb Lund Band - Lives of Attrition
(Corb Lund is so good. If I could be any country musician I'd be Corb Lund. I think I've raved about him every time of his songs has come up in past FRTs so I won't bore you with more about him, for now at least....)

2. NOFX - What's the Matter With Kids Today?
(NOFX is the one band that I like that I've never seen live before. Every time they come around to a city where I'm at something always comes up and I can't go to the show. Someone should convince them to play concert timed to fit with my schedule.)

3. Propagandhi - Fuck Religion
(I find it quite surprising how upset Propagandhi gets with Rastafarianism. I'm also not quite sure how they go from Rasta to the conflict in Gaza. However, they manage to in a song that's actually pretty catchy.)

4. The Vandals - Jackass
(I really recommend the Vandals to anyone who hasn't listened to them before. I really suggest the album Hitler Bad, Vandals Good I think that's an album that anyone would find amusing.)

5. Cypress Hill - When the Shit Goes Down
(Did you know that if you get a Ford Festiva, install some 100 watt sub-woofers in its trunk and play Cypress Hill it causes all the mirrors to fall off. I've seen it first hand, you should try it.)

6. The Vandals - I've Got an Ape Drape (Mullet Song)
(I'm a huge fan of mullets, and I'm a huge fan of this song. There's nothing funnier than the good ole short-long. Business in the front and party in the back. So sweet....)

7. James Brown - Sexmachine (Get On Up)
(There's no one quite as funky as the God Father of Soul. Oh yeah, I feel the beat.)

8. Tool - Sober
(Now here's a song that I haven't heard for a long time. I think the last time I seriously listened to this was when I was in highschool. It's odd to think that this song was released 12 years ago. Listening to this song makes me feel a little nostalgic for the good old days.... Heh.)

9. The Tragically Hip - Boots or Hearts
(Ah, the most Canadian of bands. No band says "Canada" to me like the Hip. Gord Downie and the boys some how manage to capture that Canadian spirit with simple catchy songs that have great guitar hooks and whimsical lyrics like "Fingers and toes, fingers and toes. Forty things we share. Forty-one if you include the fact that we don't care." So very good.)

10. Corb Lund Band - Time to Switch to Whiskey
(Two Corb Lund Band songs, one Friday. What more can I ask for? This is the world's best drinking song. If I still drank, I would tip back a few to the poker playing cowboys of southern Alberta. "It's time to switch to whiskey we've been drinking beer all night. We're all half-dead and never slept and spoiling for a fight. Who'd have thunk we'd get jack-ass drunk. Now boys don't spare the rye. It's time to switch to whiskey, we've been drinking beer all night." So much great catchiness.)


-Socialist Swine

P.S. Watch a Corb Lund Band video. If you don't then you're too emo for me to talk to. Oh, you need realplayer to watch it. I'm not sure where you get realplayer, so I'm hoping you already have it.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

You're Canada!

People make fun of you a lot, but they're stupid because you've
got a much better life than they do.  In fact, they're probably just jealous.
 You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not
dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and
others.  If it weren't for your weird affection for ice hockey, you'd be
the perfect person.
Take
the Country Quiz at the href="http://bluepyramid.org">Blue Pyramid

Hmmm, I'm Canada. I can't say that I'm all that surprised.

-Socialist Swine



Apparently the Catholic Church feels that it needs to defend itself now from fictional mystery novels. I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that one of the largest religious institutions is attacking a fictional story or the fact that the Catholic Church's motivations for doing so aren't totally baseless in that there are some people who take Dan Brown's work as seriously having theological merit.

I guess what I have to say in the end is:

Catholic Church, get yourself a sense of humor. You're denouncing a work that is sold and advertised as fiction. Fiction!!! That's like me denouncing Dr. Seuss. Denouncing Dr. Seuss would be stupid.

People who think the Da Vinci Code is a reason to turn away from the Catholic Church and adopt Gnosticism: you're being stupid. If you're actually finding yourself beginning to agree less with the church orthodoxy don't read Dan Brown to learn about other forms of early Christianity, read some of the work by Elaine Pagels. She's an actual scholar of the Nag Hammadi texts. Reading Dan Brown to learn about Christian mysticism would be like reading Herman Hesse (or listening to the Beastie Boys) to learn about Buddhism. It's just silly.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. This isn't to say that you shouldn't read the Da Vinci Code. I think it's an entertaining story but don't read it as a text about history. I can't reiterate it enough, it's a fictional story!!!!



Has anyone else been reading about the acquittal of the alleged Air India bombers? Does anyone else think that something seriously wrong is going on here? I mean, CSIS destroyed their evidence rather than turn it over to the RCMP investigation. What kind of intelligence agency destroys their work rather than hand it over to a police agency investigating a terrorist attack? Now there are people who are suggesting that there should be an inquiry into this fiasco. All I have to say about this is:

Suggesting? Shouldn't someone be vigorously demanding to find out why the people at CSIS were such fuck-ups? What kind of oversight is there at the agency? How could anyone get away with destroying evidence relevant to an investigation of the cold blooded murder of hundreds of people? There better be some sort of inquiry. I want to find out who the human resources people are at CSIS and ask them why they hired mentally handicapped people to serve as "intelligence" agents. Dumb-asses.

-Socialist Swine



I just read that the US Congress has put together a House Committee to investigate steroid use in professional baseball. Now, I know that baseball is the national past time in the States but don't you think this is going a little too far?

-Socialist Swine

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

There's one thing that we lefties must be concerned about. That thing is becoming a hippie. In the interest of helping you all monitor your hippiness, here is the hippie test:



-Socialist Swine

P.S. Also given that conservatives tend to equate liberalism with frenchism here's a quiz to identify how French you are.

P.P.S. I also found a quiz for Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Rob Breakenridge and Charles Adler.



There's an entry at Here's What's Left that I think that should be disseminated throughout the blogosphere. Powerline is one of the most heavily read 'blogs out there so they shouldn't be able to get away with telling outright lies, even if they are only repeating things that Ann Coulter has said. I'm actually hoping that some of my more conservative readers who have their own 'blogs might post up a link to Here's What's Left's entry as well. We need to keep each other honest as much as we try to keep the commercial media on the up and up.

-Socialist Swine



For the last few days I've found myself frequenting the 'blog of one Michelle Malkin. It's one of the best humor sites on the internet! For example, there's an entry where Malkin congratulates the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (ICE) on catching 100 illegal immigrant gangsters on a sweep across the US. In a country with a population approaching 300 million, Malkin gets excited by the capture of 100 criminal illegal aliens after a concerted nation wide sting operation. Ummmm, if there are only 100 criminal illegal aliens in all of the US then there doesn't seem to be sufficient warrant for such an involved operation. If there are far more than 100 criminal illegal aliens, as I would assume there are, then it seems that ICE is fairly incompetent and Malkin is cheering for a project that is only marginally successful. I wonder how many illegal aliens involved in organized crime are arrested daily by local police forces in their mundane duties in Los Angeles alone? I'm sure it's way over 100.

I bet you Malkin's a Cubs fan....

-Socialist Swine

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Courtesy of News 24.com:

Phnom Penh - Officials and religious leaders are disputing claims by a Cambodian man that his cow is possessed by a magic healing spirit that emigrated from Thailand.

The animal's owner, Kim Chan, 40, of Kampong Trach district in the southern province of Kampot, claimed on Monday that excrement and urine from his cow could miraculously cure diseases since it became possessed by a heavenly entity last week.

I wonder if anyone has seen images of the Virgin Mary in the cow's poo?

-Socialist Swine



Today I read that the UN has estimated that over 180,000 have starved to death in the Darfur region of Sudan. It occurred to me that despite the numerous stories that have been told about the crisis in Darfur no one has said much about how we can help alleviate the suffering of the poor people who live in the region. So I've decided to compile a list of links to agencies that are actively involved bringing humanitarian relief to the Darfur region.

The Canadian Red Cross

Oxfam International

Unitarian Universalist Service Committee


USAID list of NGOs in Darfur

Please donate what you can. If we each give just a little it would make a huge difference.

-Socialist Swine



I just came across the world's stupidest article about the "dangers" of music. Here's the core of the article's argument:

Rock music can literally kill.

The view that music is amoral or neutral with no inherent power to effect is completely proven false by extensive research performed on plant life. Rock music, with it's hard driving beat, played to plants will kill the plants - while soothing classical music causes the plants to grow twice as fast.

By this reasoning I should be terrified of Dutch Elm Disease. If it kills plants it could harm me! Shit, there's so many more things that I should be afraid of.

I don't understand why the religious right has to make such stupid arguments, especially about non-issues like rock and roll. I mean Elvis first played about 50 years ago, if rock music is such a blight upon society and causes physical harm shouldn't we all be dead by now?

-Socialist Swine



This morning while I was driving I heard an interesting story on CBC radio's The Current. Apparently, several months ago a US agency, The Council on Foreign Relations, commissioned a multi-national "independent" task force to explore the further integration of Canada, the United States, and Mexico (I put 'independent' in scare quote because I have no idea what the task force is supposed to be independent of. Moreover, when people add 'independent' into the title of various commissions it is often a sign that the commission is anything but independent).

The final proposal offered by the task force is an EU sort of complete economic and security amalgamation for North America. Such a proposal brings me pause. There are already concerns that Canada has lost sovereignty in terms of its energy and trade policy with NAFTA, it would seem that a full-scale integration will only further erode Canada's ability to set its own policies. However, I think that this is a secondary concern. What I think would be the biggest hurdle for the proposal offered by the task force is getting the three parties (Canada, the US, and Mexico) to agree upon a means to govern a unified North American community.

If representation is proportional to population then Canada and Mexico will become nothing more than US vassals. If representation is made equal between the three nations, then Americans will be unfairly under represented. In Europe the nations were all roughly similar in size and political clout prior to the institution of the EU. Such parity doesn't exist in North America. Indeed, Mexico is pretty much a third world country while Canada and the US are leading economic powers. Furthermore, there was a pre-existing similarity in policy positions throughout much of Europe to provide a foundation for the formation of the EU. Again, such a thing doesn't exist in North America. These things being the case, I ask proponents of an increased North American integration, how do you suppose such a proposal might be instituted?

Anyways, all my ranting aside, I'm curious as to how people in general feel about a further conglomeration of Canada, the United States, and Mexico. So let me know what you think about this issue.

-Socialist Swine

Monday, March 14, 2005

Today Capitalist Pig had the day off work so I decided to take a day off working on my thesis to join her to a trip to the gym this morning. This resulted in two things. First, I discovered that suburbanites seem to be fat unemployed people and second, I completely destroyed my left foot somehow.

I was surprised by the number of people who were at the gym on a Monday morning between 9:00 and 10:30. I would have expected that more people would have been at work or school or something. Yet, the parking lot, and the gym itself, seemed to be filled to capacity. This leads me to only one conclusion, there are a lot of people who live in my area that aren't gainfully employed, or like to skip work to exercise. I also found that people really like to wear revealing spandex get-ups when they're at the gym. This is especially true of those who really need to go to the gym if you know what I mean.

Now I'm not a particularly svelte person, indeed, in the last several years I've gone from having 5% body fat to closer to 25% body fat. However, I realize that with my increased chunkiness comes the responsibility to dress appropriately. It's really difficult to concentrate on lifting the weights when Yokozuna is beside you in a purple spandex suit grunting. I nearly dropped my bar-bells several times. Then again, I doubt even the slim fitness model types really should wear spandex; really, spandex should only be worn by professional athletes who need to maintain a minimum of air resistance.

As for my foot, I have no idea how I hurt myself. I managed to run two miles without any difficulty and despite the few times I nearly lost control of my weights as the result of being distracted by my festively plump neighbors I didn't actually drop anything on myself. Yet, my foot is so sore at this point that I can't stand on it even though it is now bandaged up. I think I'm going to have to go get it amputated tomorrow. It really sucks, which is why I'm posting this. If I'm going to be in pain, then you're all going to have to hear about it. The way I see it, this is how a manly-manly man deals with pain, not with medication, ice, and rest but with bitching, complaining, and acting like a child. Anyways, Capitalist Pig needs to hear me whine some more so I'll catch you all later.

-Socialist Swine



The UN just gave me the greatest idea. Use the greed of the right, who tend to be self-professed capitalists, against them. At the Right Wing News, an avid detractor of the UN, the UN was able to buy themselves some ad-space for $65. That's practically a gift! So, let's see how capitalistic the various right-wing site hosts are and start buying up ads of our own. We'll turn their media into our media.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. The UN ad over at RWN is on the middle of the left sidebar.



Something I really don't understand is conservatives' position on Harvard. I've never heard of a school get accused of being a hotbed of socialism, liberalism, leftism, pinkoism, etc, more than Harvard. When you consider the fact that the home of the truly far left, such as Noam Chomsky, MIT is just next door. I'm surprised that the right takes so much effort to spew vitriol regarding how liberal-PC-fascist Harvard is. Really, when you think about how much more radical MIT's campus is than Harvard's; the only thing that seems red about Harvard is the school color. I need someone has to explain this to me.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Moreover, the conservatives' golden boy George W. Bush went to Harvard for his MBA. If Harvard is so subversive why is the current president of the US not more progressive?

P.P.S. Also, what about Berkeley? Harvard might as well be a hot bed of reactionary politics in comparison to Berkeley.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Is there such thing as an anti-feminist? If there is then Michelle Malkin is one. What kind of woman, or person of either gender at that, agrees with the sentiment that women on police forces is "another way the PC agenda kills people". And as such treating women as equals to men is a PC agenda that should be quashed? A woman suggesting something like this is like Morgan Freeman joining the KKK.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. I know someone's going to argue that Malkin has a point but she doesn't. For example consider the following quote from the Flint Journal:

"That's an inherent danger that police face everyday," said Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard, adding that up to one-third of the officers killed in the line of duty are shot with their own gun or their partner's gun.

I'm assuming that not all these police officers or their partners were women. So unless you can demonstrate to me that they were, I'm going to contend that Malkin has absolutely no substance behind her argument.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Well, wouldn't you know. It's already time for another edition of Liberal Eye for the Conservative Guy. For those of you who are just tuning in, this is where I make up for my transgressions against conservatism by helping a conservative I find over at Hannidate find themselves some fairytale right-wing love.

For this week's edition I'd like you to meet Jonathon:

Hello, I'm Jonathan. I am an undergraduate university student at Oakland University. I am a little shy at first, but I am a very interesting person. I like studying, watching movies, watching anime, playing video games, reading, learning Japanese. My job is a math tutor at my university. My match would be a woman who is conservative and Catholic. She is very nice. She shares my interests. She is traditional, so she has to be good at cooking at cleaning, as I'm not good at that. Hopefully she's no older than 25, as I'm only 19.

Hello Jonathon, I’m the Socialist Swine. I’m a graduate student at…. Wait, what am I doing, this isn’t about me, it’s about you.

Jonathon, Jonathon, where should we start? Hmmmm…. I know! First let’s take a look at some of the noteworthy juxtapositions in your profile. For example, “I am a very interesting person. I like studying….”

Wow, what a perfect sense of irony. I stand in awe. I don’t know why you have a profile at Hannidate; you must already be a hit with the ladies! Seriously though, perhaps you shouldn’t say that you’re an interesting person and that you like studying, anime, and video games in adjacent sentences. It makes you sound like you’re dishonest. One can’t be an interesting person and place studying as the first entry in their list favorite things to do. You should ditch that bit about studying. Actually while you’re at it ditch the part about anime and video games as well. Also you might want to reword your second sentence all together. Say something like:

“I am a little shy at first, but with a little time you will see me blossom.”

You know something poetic and eloquent. The bitches love that shit.

Now that I think about it perhaps you should reword your interests. Instead of saying that you like reading and learning Japanese, say that you enjoy literature and studying foreign cultures. That’ll make you seem urbane and cosmopolitan rather than like a geeky otaku. By the way, in Japanese “otaku” is actually a pejorative term; they use it as an insult.

Moving onward, next you say that you’re employed as a math tutor. Jonathon, tsk, tsk, haven't you learned yet, you should never admit that you have anything to do with math. My brother is a math major but you’ll never hear that coming out of his mouth, he will only admit that he majors in the sciences.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with math. Indeed, I have a great respect for mathematicians but, that said, math doesn’t impress the ladies. There’s a reason that all your colleagues are male and that reason isn’t that women can’t do math. They can, they just realize that there’s better things to do with your time.

Russell Crowe might be able to make a math geek seem sexy but then again he made being a slave mauled by tigers and getting beat on by a really big French guy seem like fun way to spend an afternoon. If you want to attract women rather than someone new to play Magic: The Gathering (tm) with, perhaps you say that you find your job very fulfilling because it allows you to help your colleagues succeed in their education. That makes you sound smart and generous of spirit rather than dorky and generous of pocket protectors (does that even make sense, wait don’t answer that. I don’t actually care).

Okay Jonathon, finally let’s look at your ideal woman. You say that you want a woman that is “traditional, so she has to be good at cooking at cleaning.” While you're at it why don't you ask for a woman who would love to wash the skid-marks off your drawers, responds well to cries of “Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie," and whose goal in life is to be barefoot and pregnant. Jonathon what are you looking for a mate or for your mom? Remember you want to make yourself seem interesting and adventurous. However, your current profile makes you sound as intriguing as my sock drawer but far more demanding.

-Socialist Swine



At QuizFarm.com I found several kind of cool little quizzes about one's various beliefs and how they match up with various categories. Here they are for your pleasure:

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?

You scored as Democrat. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'> Anarchism 100% Democrat 100% Socialist 92% Green 83% Communism 67% Republican 0% Nazi 0% Fascism 0% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

Which Religion is the Right One for You?
You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already.

In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth.

Buddhism		83%
paganism		75%
Islam		71%
Satanism		67%
agnosticism		67%
atheism		58%
Hinduism		42%
Judaism		38%
Christianity		13%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com


-Socialist Swine



Heh, this is a great parody of David Horowitz's Discover the Network:

Discover Your Momma's Network

Thanks go out to PZ Myers at Pharyngula for finding and publicizing this little gem. It seems that he finds lots of cool stuff.

-Socialist Swine




I found this picture at iampariah.com. This is the best mullet I've ever seen. It's glorious. Your Mulletency, I bow before your mulletificence.

-Socialist Swine

Friday, March 11, 2005

Something occurred to me tonight when I was talking with Capitalist Pig. Despite all the biology courses I took as an undergraduate (I took my fair share) and all the biology journals that I peruse as part of my current research, there is one biological mystery that I have not learned the answer to. Why are humans the only species that needs to wipe its ass.

I've had a fair exposure to a wide range of fauna and I've never witnessed fecal matter collecting on the rear ends of any animal (other than bison) that did not suffer from some sort of digestive problem. Moreover, I've never ever seen any specimen from any species wipe its bottom. So why is it that crap sticks to our butt's but not to any other species' butts? Does anyone know the answer or have any guesses as to why the previous is the case?

-Socialist Swine



As I was driving home from dinner at the Cheesecake Cafe with my family I happened to tune into The World Tonight with Rob Breakenridge on AM 770 CHQR just in time to hear the stupidest caller ever. I didn't get to catch the guys name but the guy was noting that he was sick of Canada and moving to Australia (a la some liberals in the US after the elections). Now, this isn't necessarily stupid, if one really has come to disagree with the way the country is run emigrating might be a reasonable option. It was the reason he wanted to leave that was stupid.

According to the caller he was moving out of Canada because he thought the government had become immoral and would not return until the Liberal party was replaced with the Conservatives. Now, I expected him to say something about abortion or gay marriage, which though I would still think is wrong-headed, I would at least admit is understandable. However, the reason that the caller did offer as the basis for his belief that the Canadian government had become morally bankrupt was the federal government's support of multiculturalism and the hiring of women in the RCMP and that, my friends, is simply ridiculous.

I don't know who the caller was to Breakenridge's show but whomever he is all I have to say about him leaving Canada is, "good riddance!" Canada doesn't need the kind of misogynistic racist trash like him. I hope he finds his all white male dominated paradise and rots.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. This is mostly why we who lean to the left tend to equate conservatives with racists, Nazis, and Klansmen. It's dumb asses who equate sexual and racial equality with immorality.



You have to watch this guy. He brings a smile to my face.

-Socialist Swine



The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

I really I thought I was far more evil, depraved, and wicked. Oh well.... At least I'll be able to meet Plato in Hell and slap him in the head for being an idiot.

-Socialist Swine



From Reuters:

By Emma Ross-Thomas

MADRID (Reuters) - Spain's leading Islamic body has issued a religious order declaring Osama bin Laden to have forsaken Islam by backing attacks such as the Madrid train bombings a year ago.

The Islamic Commission of Spain timed its "fatwa" for Friday to coincide with the first anniversary of last year's attacks, which killed 191 people and were claimed in the name of al Qaeda in Europe.

The commission's secretary general Mansur Escudero said the fatwa had moral, rather than legal weight and would serve as a guide for Muslims.

"We declare ... that Osama bin Laden and his al Qaeda organization, responsible for the horrendous crimes against innocent people who were despicably murdered in the March 11 terrorist attack in Madrid, are outside the parameters of Islam," the commission said.

The commission said the Koran barred Muslims from committing crimes against innocent people.

The commission is the top Islamic body in Spain. Its leaders are elected by an assembly and represent the Muslim community in talks with the Spanish government.

I think this is a good sign. Terrorists, insurgents, and revolutionaries all require public support to function. If they begin to lose the support of the populace they lose the ability to recruit and without recruits they lose the ability to launch attacks. Spain has a very large Muslim population. Spanish Muslims issuing a fatwa against Osama bin Laden will have some impact on how Muslims around the world view organizations such as Al Qaeda.

-Socialist Swine




I saw this picture of Stephen Harper and I had to post it. Heh....

-Socialist Swine



It's time again for another FRIDAY RANDOM TEN!!!! So here we go.


1. Wu-Tang Clan - Triumph
(When I was a teenager I really enjoyed Wu-Tang, then I grew out of them and somehow in the last few months I've grown back into them. It's weird).

2. Ben Harper - Another Lonely Day
(The weird thing about Ben Harper is that the first time I heard him I thought he sucked goat ass. Actually, I thought he sucked for a long time but one of my old-roommates when I lived in residence during my undergrad used to listen to him all the time. Somehow though over time Ben Harper slowly grew on me and now I actually kind of like his music. That said, every time I listen to one of Harper's songs I feel a little wimpier. Soon I'll cry at comedy movies.)

3. Beck - Static
(Does anyone else think that Beck is stoned all the time? Every time I see him on TV he looks like he has no idea where he is.)

4. Rise Against - Voices Off Camera
(Rise Against is a punk that I've just recently discovered. I must say that I am suitably impressed with them, though they are a little bit emo. Okay, they're quite emo. Damn I'm feeling myself getting wimpier, I feel moisture building up in my eyes. I'm also getting an urge to cut myself.)

5. The Smalls - Fades Away
(There I'm feeling a little tougher again, need more hard-core punk with a slight metalesque twist. Yep, my testicles have descended again.)

6. The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site
(Doh, increasing wimpiness.... Emo overwhelming testosterone.... Need some Slayer.... Slayer will make me manly again....)

7. Slayer - Angel of Death!!!!!
(Ah, my voice is deepening again. Wooo.... For a moment there I thought all was lost. Yes, I'm feeling normal again. Slayer, so good....)

8. Hayden - Hollywood Ending.
(Dammit, just when I thought I was going to be tough again. Hayden's sad folk musings are making me feel like wearing brown corduroy, patchouli, and Birkenstocks. Dammit, hippiness taking over....)

9. Portishead - It's a Fire
(Oh, no! Not Portishead.... There is no hope left.... So wimpy now. I'm craving tofu and bubble-tea.... Oh, no.....)

10. The Corb Lund Band - Engine Revver
(Ah, good old Alberta rockabilly. Yes, my masculinity has been rescued from the clutches of Ben Harper, Emo, and hippiness. Hey, if you don't listen to Corb Lund I'm going to find you and put a cowboy boot up your ass. Buy one of his albums now. See y'all later, I'm going to find me a rodeo.)


-Socialist Swine

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I just read on PhysOrg.com that a group from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology has recently sequenced a 75,000 year old Neanderthal protein. This blows my mind, proteins don't normally last all that long. In general they're fairly reactive and as such denature quite easily. It's amazing that they were able to find an intact polypeptide of that age. I wonder how big the protein is. A decently long amino acid sequence would be quite useful to compare genetic similarities and as such provide some clues about the relationships between modern and prehistoric species. I'm going to have to do a little more digging about this.

-Socialist Swine

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I found this brilliant cartoon at Decrepit Old Fool. So much goodness, losing skill at talk-a-ma-jiggy.....

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Whether you're interested in reading about the evolution/ID debate take a look at DOF. It's a great little 'blog.



A friend of mine sent this to me. The funny thing is that these are actually true of most of the people I grew up with. Actually most of the below is true of the majority of people I know who were born and raised in Alberta. Goddamn, Alberta is a redneck place....

Thirty Things an Alberta Boy Would Never Say
30. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, screw Pilsner, I'll have a Heineken.

26. We don't keep loaded firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling's fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and salad instead of steak & potatoes.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Grey Cup?

17. I'm voting Liberal this year.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Way to go Jean! Sign that Kyoto agreement now!

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all backed up on the C: drive.

10. I'm gonna buy a Ford Aerostar instead of that Dodge Diesel 4x4.

9. My fiancée, Rose, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Perrier for the Stanley Cup.

7. Checkmate.

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "The Dukes of Hazard" that we haven't seen!

4. I don't really have a favourite CFL team.

3. Peace.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Margaret.

AND NUMBER ONE....


1. Let's hire the gay guy!

-Socialist Swine



I'm about halfway through grading 140 logic assignments. At this point it takes all my will power not to throw all the papers into the fireplace and take a cigarette lighter to them.

-Socialist Swine



I found this gem over at danielbowen.com:

Music Meme

Choose a band and answer only in song titles by that band: NOFX

Are you male or female? Punk Guy

Describe yourself: Idiot Son of an Asshole

How do some people feel about you? "I Don't Want You Around"

How do you feel about yourself? Thalidomide Child

Describe your ex-girlfriend: Monosyllabic Girl

Describe your current girlfriend: Love Story

Describe what you want to be: I Wanna Be An Alcoholic

Describe your current mood: Brain Constipation

Describe your friends: Stupid Canadians

Share a few words of wisdom: We Threw Gasoline On The Fire And Now We Have Stumps For Arms And No Eyebrows

-Socialist Swine



From the Globe and Mail:

Vancouver — A gas station attendant earning minimum wage on the overnight shift was dragged seven kilometres to his death after he tried to stop a driver from stealing $12 worth of gas.

Police said the thief ran over Grant De Patie, a 24-year-old employee around midnight and Mr. De Patie then became lodged underneath the vehicle for the long, winding journey in rural Maple Ridge, about an hour east of Vancouver.

Hours later, a thin line of blood was still visible along sections of the road.

The gas station attendant, who had been on the job since October, tried to stop the thief through the driver's side. The vehicle had been reported stolen earlier in the day.

Ridge Meadows RCMP arrested two teen-agers late yesterday, a 16-year-old boy from Maple Ridge and a 15-year-old boy from the nearby community of Pitt Meadows. The abandoned vehicle was recovered yesterday morning.

What the hell is wrong with these kids? Who would drag someone to their death over $12 worth of gas? Who are these kids' parents and how is it that they failed to teach their kids that actions like those they allegedly participated in are wrong. Somebody needs a serious ass-kicking over this.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. That somebody is the parents of those kids. What kind of half-assed parent raises a kid that kills someone when they're 15? Holy shit! What's wrong with some people.



I was unable to work on my thesis anymore tonight so I thought I would take a look at the breaking news. In doing so, I ran across several articles about various protests that seem to be following Prince Charles about. Now, despite my progressive leanings, I've never actually had a problem with the monarchy. I actually like the sense of tradition and culture that is represented by the crown in Canada. However, reading about the various protests made me wonder if monarchies are still relevant in the modern world. What do you think?

-Socialist Swine



From Reuters:

UN Backs U.S. Plea for Total Ban on Human Cloning

By Irwin Arieff

UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) - The U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday urged governments to ban all human cloning, including the cloning of human embryos for stem-cell research, in a divided vote that handed a symbolic victory to the administration of President Bush.

Capping four years of contentious debate, the 191-nation assembly voted 84 to 34, with 37 abstentions, to approve a nonbinding statement on cloning.

The United States did not play a public role in promoting the statement. But it had worked behind the scenes, hand-in-hand with U.S. anti-abortion groups, to obtain a call for a blanket ban on all cloning.

"The United States and the international community have now spoken clearly that human cloning is an affront to human dignity," Bush said in a statement welcoming the "strong vote."

The measure was proposed by Honduras and generally supported by predominantly Roman Catholic countries, in line with Pope John Paul's condemnation of human cloning. It was generally opposed by nations where stem-cell research is being pursued.

Unusually, the United States and Britain, traditional staunch allies in the United Nations, were on opposite sides of the issue, and Britain condemned the "intransigence" of nations opposed to cloning for medical reasons.

Many Islamic nations were among those abstaining, on grounds there was no U.N. consensus on the hot-button issue of whether stem-cell research was a valid medical pursuit or the destruction of human life.

Opponents said the text was not legally binding and would have no impact on their scientists' pursuit of stem cell research.

At the heart of the debate was so-called therapeutic cloning, in which human embryos are cloned to obtain stem cells used in medical studies and later discarded.

SAVING LIVES, OR TAKING THEM

Many scientists, backed by governments including Belgium, Britain, Singapore and China, say the technique offers hope for a cure to some 100 million people with such conditions as Alzheimer's, cancer, diabetes and spinal cord injuries.

But the United States, Costa Rica, Italy and anti-abortion groups argued that this type of research, for whatever purpose, constitutes the taking of human lives.

The U.N. debate began with a 2001 proposal by France and Germany for a binding global treaty banning the cloning of human beings, a plan that had broad international backing.

But that effort failed last year after the Bush administration fought to broaden the ban to all cloning of human embryos, including therapeutic cloning.

The assembly's treaty-writing legal committee, deeply divided, abandoned the idea of a treaty and decided instead to pursue a nonbinding declaration.

Costa Rican Ambassador Bruno Stagno Ugarte praised the assembly vote as "a historic step" that recognized "that therapeutic cloning involves the creation of human life for the purpose of destroying it."

U.S. envoy Sichan Siv made only a brief comment welcoming the statement.

But British Ambassador Emyr Jones Parry, who voted "no," lamented "the intransigence of those who were not prepared to recognize that other sovereign states -- after extensive dialogue and due democratic process -- may decide to permit strictly controlled applications of therapeutic cloning."

"Therapeutic cloning research conducted under strict regulations will contribute to the enhancement of human dignity by relieving millions of people from pain, suffering and misery," said South Korean envoy Ha Chan-ho, explaining his "no" vote.

"The foes of therapeutic cloning are trying to portray this as a victory for their ideology. But this confusing declaration is an effort to mask their failure last November to impose a treaty on the world banning therapeutic cloning," said Bernard Siegel, a Florida attorney who led a lobbying drive by scientists and patient advocacy groups to defend cloning for therapeutic ends.

© Reuters 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Several months ago I watched a special on the Discovery Channel that suggested that King Tutankhamun might have been assassinated. However, according to the Globe and Mail, there is fairly clear evidence that Tut wasn't murdered, at least not in the manner suggested by the Discovery Channel special. In the special it was suggested that Tut's skull appeared to have been fractured through a blunt force impact on the occipital bone (if I remember correctly). However, as one can see in the above x-ray image of Tutankhamun's skull there was no such fracture. That said, further x-ray examination demonstrated that one of Tut's legs was badly broken around the time of his death, which suggests the possibility that the boy pharoah died of the infection that would follow such a major wound.

-Socialist Swine

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

This is a fun little quiz that I found over at Pharyngula. I actually found my results to be somewhat surprising. The obsessive compulsive thing isn't too much of a shock, I recognize the fact that my need to constantly wash my hands and avoid physical contact with strangers is perhaps indicative of latent (or perhaps not so latent) OCD. However, I wasn't expecting to measure moderately high on the Schizotypal scale. Oh well, maybe I'm nuttier than even I thought. I want to see how crazy you all are. You have to be fairly crazy to keep coming back here.

-Socialist Swine

Update: Capitalist Pig just took this test and I'm surprised she's not on thorazine

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

My brain is too tired to post anything that requires thought tonight, so I thought I would turn you all onto the Capitalist vs. Socialist Quiz that I found. According to it I'm a:

Planner - Few Democrats fit here, but FDR is probably the most aggressive move in this direction, followed by LBJ. They believe that the market is useful for many areas, but overall it is too chaotic, irrational or unfair, and it takes the keen eye of the state or bureaucracy to correct market imperfections. They support nationalization of industries, guaranteed employment for all, massive welfare entitlements, and massive public works. They associate economic success with high employment, high production, and massive government involvement; the super-rich are usually allowed to still exist normally, but less so in business or managerial capacities. Ultimately, the market is either short-sighted or unfair, and some outside force must step in to correct it.

-Socialist Swine



Michael, the blogger behind Here's What's Left has spent three of his last five entries holding Ann Coulter and her little lackies at Powerline's feet over the fire. It's great when people point out how much Ann Coulter bullshits and how idiotic or disingenuous someone has to be to agree with her wackiness. Actually, now that I've mentioned holding people's feet over the fire, wouldn't it be sweet if someone actually gave Ann Coulter a hot foot?

-Socialist Swine



First I wanted to say a little about Giuliana Sgrena's claims that she was fired upon by US forces because they wanted her dead. Though I personally disagree with the war on Iraq, I think it's quite irresponsible for a person in Sgrena's position to make the accusations that she does. She is a journalist, she should have the good sense to consider her sources. She claims that she was warned by her captors previous to her release that the United States wanted her dead.

Now, I'm not sure, but she must have a touch of Stockholm syndrome or something. Otherwise, why would you believe that the claims made by terrorists who are clearly quite anti-American regarding the "evils" of the US military? Moreover, as much as I criticize US military policy, I must grant that they do know what they're doing. If the standing order was to have Sgrena killed, she'd be dead by now. The troops manning the checkpoint were quite well armed. If they wanted the occupants of the vehicle that Sgrena was in dead, there wouldn't have been a couple stray rounds ending up in the passenger compartment. There would have been mass carnage, the car would not have been recognizable.

However, the above all said, I came across an interesting article in the Washington Times last night that suggested that perhaps there might be flaws in the checkpoint procedures that resulted in numerous shootings of civilians that were unavoidable. According to the article:

It is a frequent claim in Iraq, where dozens of innocents have died at U.S. manned checkpoints because they didn't see or understand the warnings.

The particular problem checkpoints pose came into focus early in the occupation. At least three Iraqis were killed in western Baghdad's upscale Mansour district on July 27, 2003, when members of the U.S.-manned Task Force 20 opened fire on cars that drove through a military cordon surrounding a block on which a raid was planned. The drivers apparently had missed the checkpoints when they drove in from an unblocked side street.

A few weeks later, four members of a young family were killed as they drove home from relatives, racing to beat the nightly curfew and the darkness that brought out bandits. They drove through a poorly lit temporary military checkpoint. Soldiers opened fire, killing the father, an eight-year old girl and two teenagers. The father died draped over his heavily pregnant wife, who survived the attack and gave birth a few weeks later. Their 13-year-old daughter also survived, although she still carries shrapnel in her head and body.

Indeed, even Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, former commander of US operations in the area suggested that changes needed to be made:

Sanchez told reporters in August 2003 the Mansour incident taught the military "our traffic control point procedures needed some improvement ... to make sure that we have the right equipment, to put markers out there that lets the people know that they're coming up on a checkpoint, in order for them to comply and stop."

"What you don't (want) is a vehicle that's coming up to the checkpoint has no idea that it's there, and the first time it knows that the checkpoint is there is when it starts getting warning shots. So that's what we're working," Sanchez said.

According to the article some changes were made in late 2003:

(Sanchez) directed that flares be put out on the road in enough time to alert drivers to the upcoming checkpoint, and that stop signs be posted in both English and Arabic.

Another senior military official who served in Iraq said similar changes were made in the south and west.

"We had a requirement for lights, sign in Arabic (with a "stop or shoot" warning), use of flares, spike strips, etc.," he told United Press International. "We still had shootings, but we reduced them a lot."

However, the article then goes on to note that since that time many of the changes have fallen by the wayside and no longer maintained since the consequent troop rotations.

An official military press service story posted on U.S. Central Command's Web site Monday describes a unit of the Army's 1st Battalion, 9th Field Artillery, setting up traffic control points around Baghdad on Feb. 27 to catch people carrying illegal weapons and explosives.

It describes soldiers setting up one well-lit and marked checkpoint for an hour, and them moving to a darker "desolate" road where very different procedures were put in place.

"The troops turned all the lights off, except for a soldier holding a flashlight to signal approaching vehicles," the story states, written by a young Army soldier.

A little while into the checkpoint operation, a car sped toward the soldiers.

"Soldiers shouted, waved flashlights and finally fired a warning shot, at which point the driver slammed on his brakes and stopped. Five somewhat inebriated men emerged from the sedan, and appeared relieved to be alive after nearly running through the (traffic control point)."

The men were questioned and waved through, after being forced to dump their beer.

Such being the case, combined with the fact that the driver of the Italian vehicle claimed that he was not aware of the checkpoint and did not realize that they had to stop until they were fired upon, suggests to me that perhaps there does need to be reconsideration about the manner in which checkpoints are established. As for the specific amendments that need to be made, I don't know but it seems that reinstating the changes directed by Lt. Gen. Sanchez might be a place to start.

-Socialist Swine



Watch this video and tell me you aren't amazed that Donald Rumsfeld manages to keep a straight face.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. On a related topic, see a video on Bush's "Speechalist" (normally Andy Dick is annoying as hell, but this is kind of funny).




picture courtesy of AP Photo

An Alaskan man decided to leave his sprinkler running all winter to see how large of an ice tower would form. At this point the tower is approximately 150 feet tall and will likely, according to its creator, grow to over 180 feet. All in all that's a pretty impressive ice tower.

-Socialist Swine

Update: The man's name is John Reeves and the tower is outside of Fairbanks. Apparently he constructed the tower to deal with his hatred of winter.



In the past I've heard random people bandy about the idea that Canada should seek membership in the European Union. However, today I came across the first incidence of a European publication making the suggestion. Spiegel Online, a website that summarizes articles from various German newspapers posted an entry noting that various German papers had suggested that perhaps it is time that Canada become a member of the EU.

The reason that they provided was that Canada, in many regards, is more similar to the European community than the United States. For example, in terms of foreign policy Canada shares the multilateralism of western Europe, while it seems that the United States, at least under the Bush administration, favors a more unilateral approach. Also, in terms of domestic social policy, Canada, like many nations of the EU and unlike the US, support reproductive choice, same-sex marriage, and strong social welfare programs.

Now I generally think that the similarities between Canadians and Americans, in the long run, outweigh the differences, but since the Germans have brought it up I thought I would turn the question to you. What do you think of the idea of Canada petitioning the EU for membership?

-Socialist Swine

Monday, March 07, 2005

This is a call to all you pinko, hippie, queer-lovin', flip-flopping, baby-killing, freedom-hatin', heathen, treasonous, cheese-eating surrender monkeys. Unite under the new banner of moon battery and resolve to bring gay marriage, universal health care, and social security to all the poor and impoverished of the world. Stand up and give a cheer for our new logo:


courtesy of Creek Running North.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Thanks also go out to dadahead for first introducing me to the moon bat logo.



Through sitemeter one can identify various searches that bring up your site. Well here's some of the weirder ones that bring up Capitalist Pig vs. Socialist Swine:

"putin vs pig" on google brings us up as #1

"exotic dancers immigration canada ctv" on google brings us up as #12

"homopater" on google brings us up as #1

"little pricks" on yahoo brings us up as #86

"anorexic guys" on google brings us up as #18

-Socialist Swine



Apparently the Bush administration has nominated John Bolton, a long time detractor of the UN, for ambassador to the world governing body. Now, doesn't this strike anyone else as an odd choice? I mean tapping Bolton for UN ambassador would be like asking Carolyn Parrish to be the Canadian ambassador to the United States.

-Socialist Swine

The Project for the New American Century is a non-profit educational organization dedicated to a few fundamental propositions: that American leadership is good both for America and for the world; that such leadership requires military strength, diplomatic energy and commitment to moral principle; and that too few political leaders today are making the case for global leadership.

Those are the words printed on the homepage of www.newamericancentury.org. At first I thought that I had stumbled into a satirical or extremist site. When I looked at their statement of principles I found that Jeb Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz were all members of PNAC. I was once challenged about my "consumption" with American politics. This organization seems to me to be a prime reason that people all around the world should be concerned with the policies espoused by the current administration.

-Socialist Swine




Courtesy of AP Photo

Apparently an anonymous philanthropist bid $650,000 for the right to name a newly discovered species of Titi monkey. The money will go towards habitat conservation for the species. I wonder what name the winner is going to choose.

-Socialist Swine



I don't know about you all but the term "flip-flopping" is starting to get on my nerves. I just read this headline in the Globe and Mail:

Cellucci accuses Martin of flip-flopping on missile defence

"Flip-flop" is this season's "metrosexual" and "bling-bling", in other words, it's a term that has been used to the point where it's just an annoying sound that's lost all meaningful semantic content. The Globe is a decent paper, couldn't they have said something half-way intelligent such as:

Cellucci accuses Martin of reneging on missile defence

That headline would have more accurately imparted the actual assertions made by Cellucci.

That said, I'm on Martin's side for once. Normally I think he's a shady weasal but in this case he had no choice but to back out of missile defense. The average Canadian doesn't like the idea of BMD. Moreover, his own cabinet and caucas (with the exception of Bill Graham) don't seem to like BMD. There really wasn't all that much he could do but to say no to Star Wars. If he said yes, he would face more dissention than he could deal with in the House. Moreover, he would be going against the will of the electorate, which really should be the ones making decisions on issues such as this given that the government is supposed to be representative. Anyhow, I've ranted on enough.

-Socialist Swine

Update: I discovered that LSSU has put up their 2005 list of banished words and "flip-flop" is the second from the top. So I guess it's not just me.



If you are taking Ayurvedica medicinal products you might want to take a look at one or both of the following articles.

CBC.ca

JAMA

Also if you're Asian and take Crestor (rosuvastatin calcium) for high cholesterol perhaps you should read this article:

Heart Center Online

-Socialist Swine



Like the title of the post says, this weekend was one of poker and grossness for me. First, I believe it was on Friday night, I discovered the joys of free online poker. When I was younger I was what one might call a poker aficionado. I played at least once or twice a month and at one point I was making a fairly decent living, or at least making enough money to buy groceries, by taking friendly neighborhood games. Anyways, I hadn't played for at least two or three years until, on a lark, I ran a search for "free online poker" on google.

What I ended up finding was www.popularpoker.com, a site that actually allows you to sign up and play for fun games without actually paying any money whatsoever. Now, I'm sure downloading their program put at least 15 pieces of spy-ware on my machine, but screw it, this little program is worth it. In the last three days, I must have played at least 6 hours of poker and have managed to accrue over 30,000 chips (starting with 3000, and losing 2000 of those immediately trying to figure out the controls). The only problem is that this program is a little addictive and I have a crap load of writing to do. I'll have to fight the urge to go online and relieve people of their play money.

This covers the poker part of this weekend but you all need to hear about the grossness as well. The first disturbing incident happened during Capitalist Pig's sister's birthday celebration at a little Greek restaurant called Pegasus. Now, first of all let me say the grossness didn't have anything to do with the actual meal. It had to do with the entertainment, a belly-dancer to be specific.

Now first of all, let me note that I don't think there's anything wrong with belly-dancing for one's living. I'm sure it's a decently well paying job that also allows you to bring smiles to people's faces. However, this particular belly-dancer was a little too into her job and had grotesquely "enhanced" breasts (indeed, she would give Anna Nicole Smith a run for her money). Anyhow, these facts on their own don't justify an entry in this 'blog but during her performance the belly-dancer decided I needed special attention.

I was sitting their enjoying a piece of roasted eggplant when all of a sudden I felt an impact on the back of my head that felt like a warm fleshy basketball. All of a sudden a barrage of warm fleshy basketball like impacts assaulted the back of my cranium. Then I realized what was actually happening. The dancer had decided that she needed to rub her double-D silicon behemoths on the back of my head. Now, as some as the more regular readers might know, I hate being touched. I find it quite disturbing to be touched by anyone other than Capitalist Pig. Indeed, unless I know someone moderately well, I feel slightly nauseous when I am forced to shake their hand (however, in the interest of good grace I suck it up and greet people as is appropriate). Now to have a strange woman rubbing her surgically modified unspeakables on me is apt to cause recurring nightmares. It was terrible.

The second gross incident is a discovery that was made tonight during dinner at my parent's house. My sister found that if you chew the membrane of pomelo



it gets increasingly bitter. At first the membrane has no taste then it becomes slightly sour and after 2 or 3 minutes of constant chewing it becomes unbearably bitter. So bitter that it almost physically hurts. So, you should get yourself some pomelo challenge your friends to a chew off!

Now, if you're interested in having a chew off, you must realize that it's not the peel that's it's the membrane that's on the individual slices of fruit. If you take that membrane and chew on it for more than 5 minutes I would consider you to be among one of the toughest people on the world. It was more bitter than chewing on tylenol and the flavor lingered for nearly half an hour after I had spit out the membrane. Anyhow, if you're actually going to take my suggestion and try to see if you can handle the extreme bitterness, I wish you luck.

-Socialist Swine

Sunday, March 06, 2005

In fact most of the commercial music industry needs a swift kick in the ass. However, this time Sony deserves it the most. If you remember back a couple of Friday Random Tens ago, I mentioned that there was a band, Beatallica, whom I've come to really like that did Beatles covers while impersonating (at least stylistically) Metallica. Well apparently Sony has got all pissy about something and demanded that several websites dedicated to Beatallica be shut down. These sites include Beatallica.org and Beatallica.com. Now it's bad enough when big companies pick on little bands but it's worse when big companies pick on random people's websites. If you're interested in telling Sony how much they suck and how they should be more concerned with recording good music rather than raining on someone else's parade (because I'm sure that Beatles fans won't actually stop buying Beatle's albums just because a metal band plays a song called "Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band") then you should check this petition out.

-Socialist Swine

Saturday, March 05, 2005

If you remember last week I was feeling a little guilty about my constant denigrating of conservatives and their viewpoints. I responded to this guilt by trying to help a lonely conservative find himself a nice lady friend. Well, I decided that helping only one right-winger find love isn't sufficient for the amount I disparage them. So this week we have another episode of A Liberal Eye for a Conservative Guy.


Okay, everyone meet Rich!

I just moved to Bensalem Pa from Central Jersey. I am a college grad with a good job. I like to work hard and I have good values. I like to go to nice bars, go down the shore, fishing, boating, rollercoaster parks, and I like being outdoors, but I also love staying in with that special person and curling up in front of the tv. I am pretty busy with work during the week, so on the weekend I just need to really get out and do something fun. I don't do drugs, I like to drink, but not to the point of making a fool of myself. I’ll be 25 in March. I am looking for: Looking to meet a girl in the area to do fun things with. Someone pretty, smart, down to earth, and knows where their life is going. I hate liars, cheaters, and drama. I would be nice if this person like at least some of the things I do and shares some interests.

First of all, Rich have you ever considered purchasing yourself a pair of sleeves? I hear that the ladies like sleeves. Actually, I like sleeves too, they help me look like I live in an abode that isn't on wheels. Ladies like abodes that aren't on wheels. I know you're feeling generous and giving out tickets to the gun show but as impressive as your arms are I think sleeves might work for you.

Okay Rich, now that we've gone over how you might improve you Hannidate picture we should take a look at your profile.

Your first two sentences are pretty good, not amazing but decent. You could say a little more about what your job is rather than just saying that you have a "good job". Just saying that is a little vague. Your third sentence you can cut altogether how you perform at your job isn't really relevant information, and we can assume that you have good sound conservative values. Saying it explicitly is unnecessary.

Your next sentence though is far more problematic. You never want to start a description of yourself with "I like to go to nice bars". It's nice that you like nice bars, but do you really want the first thing that a lady finds out about you is that you like to go to the bar? Especially when you note a little later that you like to drink (though not until you make a fool of yourself). See ladies aren't worried about you making a fool out of yourself, they're worried that you're going to make a fool out of them. If you talk about boozing twice in your profile, that won't be taken as a good sign by the ladies. This is especially true because you're wearing a t-shirt with no sleeves. Now I don't know about the local vernacular of Pennsylvania but where I'm from sleeveless t-shirts are known as "wife-beaters". So unless you're trying to convey the message that you're a drunken wife-beater perhaps you might reconsider noting your drinking repeatedly.

That said, I kind of want to take a moment and go back to your picture again. It just occurred to me that maybe you should reconsider the thumbs-up gesture you're making, it looks like you're trying to convey a message to the effect of: "My mom says I'm cool!" Your mom might say that you're cool but you should let the ladies decide for themselves.

-Socialist Swine



A regular to this site Terrance informed me that Powerline sells t-shirts. Here are some examples:









zoomed up:



And they think that liberals are "looneys" and "moonbats" (I still think that's the dumbest insult ever, it's even dumber than "stupid-head" and "grand-pa ass").

-Socialist Swine




"I know this much about running a province."

or even better:

"I crush you, healthcare. CRUSH YOU GOOD!"



Ann Coulter, the bull would like his shit back.

-Socialist Swine




You are Pope John Paul II. You are a force to be
reckoned with.


Which Twentieth Century Pope Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


-Socialist Swine

P.S. Given that most likely there will be elections for a new Pope pretty soon, what group do you think will have the greatest influence on the election? I personally think it'll be either the Italians or Opus Dei. The Italians have 20 of the 80 cardinals, but Opus Dei has 2 of their own and some sway over about 40 (if my memory of recent Catholic history is accurate and attendance or lack of attendance at the cannonization of Escriva means anything).



This 'blog comes up 29th if you search for "dwayne johnson eating ice cream" on google. I wonder how that works....

-Socialist Swine



Now, I'm not a military expert or anything and I don't know all that much about diplomacy but it seems to me that if you want people to help you then perhaps you should not repeatedly fire on your allies.

That said, there's been another friendly fire incident involving US forces attacking and killing allied forces. In Afghanistan it was the US airforce dropping bombs on a platoon of the Princess Patricia's Light Infantry. Then some time ago (back in 2003 if I remember correctly) US missile batteries fired upon a RAF formation downing and killing two British pilots.

This time the victims of friendly fire are a member of Italy's secret service and a freshly released hostage (fortunately, she was only wounded). Now I can understand getting a little confused during a combat situation and accidently hitting the wrong target. However, the incidents I've listed suggest to me that there is some failing in US training doctrine or the rules of engagement are inadequately strict. For example, in the Afghanistan case the Canadian forces were well within allied lines and were running exercises that the US command was aware of. Moreover, the pilots were given explicit orders to stand down and yet fired regardless. In the case of the British pilots, I'm not all that knowledgable regarding aircraft but even I can tell the difference between a Harrier and a MiG. Trained anti-aircraft crews should be able to as well.

In this most recent case, the US forces involved might have a more reasonable excuse. If the Italians failed to stop at the checkpoint, which I grant they may have, then it seems that the US forces were justified in firing given the number of car-bomb attacks in the theatre of operations. That said, there should have been more communication and coordination between forces. The troops on the line should have been expecting the Italian vehicle and as such would have refrained from firing.

All the above aside, given the number of friendly fire incidents in Iraq (if one looks at the casualty lists at CNN.com, there are a fair number of soldiers who were killed by friendly fire or unintentional weapon discharges) there seems to be a need for further weapon discipline training. Then again, what do I know....

For more on this story see: CTV.com

-Socialist Swine

Friday, March 04, 2005

I'm sick of writing. I've been working on my thesis since 11:00 am and in the last 6 hours I've managed to only write 2 and a half pages (2 of which I have deleted). So I'm going to waste some time. I found this obnoxiously long meme.

List Meme

10 bands you've seen live (or in this case the 10 best shows I've been to):

1. The Polka Time Aces (I wonder if anyone who reads this 'blog even knows who they are).
2. The Smalls (I know I've mentioned them several times).
3. Beck (he's not really a band, but whatever)
4. Bad Religion
5. Strung Out
7. Chixdiggit
8. Knucklehead
9. Sonic Youth
10. Radiohead


9 things that you're looking forward to (in no particular order):

1. Hearing back from PhD programs (of the 8 I've applied to I've only gotten 1 yes, 1 no, 1 "we would have accepted you but...", and 1 "we didn't get your stuff in time, we'll consider you next year if you want."
2. Dinner, I'm getting a little hungry.
3. Capitalist Pig getting home from work.
4. The first spring rain (it was funny to say something emo).
5. Having sushi with my parents on Sunday.
6. Getting my stupid thesis done, friggin' thesis.
7. Getting another tattoo.
8. Vacation.
9. Stuff.... (I ran out of answers.)


8 things you wear daily:

1. Glasses, I can't function if I can't see.
2. Shoes (unless I'm sick in bed or otherwise housebound).
3. Earrings.
4. Do tattoos count? If they do, then: tattoos.
5. Deodorant.
6. My comfort shorts (they're a pair of beat up old boxing trunks I wear around the house).
7. A confused look on my face. (Actually I don't really but I can't think of 8 things that I wear every single day).
8. Shirts.


7 things that annoy you:

1. Cell phones. I hate cell phones with a passion. Especially those with the stupid ring tones. They make me feel homicidal.
2. Hippies. Well more exactly the smell of patchouli, I can't stand patchouli.
3. People who take elevators to only go up and down 1 floor. Unless you have a medical condition there's a thing called stairs figure out how they work. (When your office is on the 12th floor in a really busy building people who slow down elevators drive you insane).
4. People who think they're right.
5. Creationists.
6. People who believe that aliens fly millions of light years to sodomize them or screw around with wheat. What advanced civilization would go through the effort of developing faster than light travel so they can play pranks on us?
7. Emo kids.


6 things you touch every day:

1. Computer.
2. My dog Nigel.
3. The floor.
4. Air.
5. My glasses.
6. The truth.


5 things you do everyday:

1. Eat.
2. Sleep (well most days I sleep at least a little).
3. Go to the washroom.
4. Breathe.
5. Rock-out!


4 of your favorite bands/musicians:

1. NOFX
2. Propaghandi
3. The Smalls
4. The RZA, The GZA, U-God, and Inspektah Deck: The Wu-Tang Clan


3 movies you can watch over and over:

1. Fight Club
2. Jackass: The Movie
3. The Sound of Music (I bet you that last one threw you all off!)


2 of your favorite songs of the moment:

1. "Plea from a Cat Named Virtue" by The Weakerthans
2. "Slang Editorial" by Cappadonna


1 person that you can spend the rest of your life with:

1. Capitalist Pig


-Socialist Swine



From Reuters:

UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) - The United States withdrew an unpopular anti-abortion amendment from a key U.N. document on Friday but insisted it had won a victory.

They withdrew an amendment they proposed because everyone thought it was stupid and they're calling it a victory? Oh I get it....



-Socialist Swine



Last week just prior to the academy awards Republican media advisor R. Gregory Stevens was found dead in the house of actress Carrie Fisher. Now I know this isn't particularly interesting but the headline itself was worth it. Moreover, now you have a piece of trivia that you can bring up at office or cocktail parties this weekend. Now as to how you steer conversation towards the topic of dead Republicans in the houses of actresses from Star Wars I have no idea.



I don't know what's happening in highschools these days but there seems to be a trend where female teachers are getting it on with their students. This time it's Toni Lynn Woods of Strange Creek, West Virginia that's getting in on the action.



Now most people might be speculating with what might be wrong with the teacher. I'm not, I know what's wrong with her. I'm curious as to what was wrong with the 5 students that she slept with. Is it lowered expectations? I mean I remember when I was a teenager I had less refined taste then I do nowadays, but look at her! What were those student's thinking? At least with the last teacher who had slept with one of her students she was fairly attractive. I can understand why a teenaged boys with more hormones than sense might be seduced by her. This lady looks homeless!

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Before anyone gets all angry with me, the above was a joke. I think it's terrible that there are people in the world that would do something such as molest their own students, which really was what Toni Lynn Woods did. However, sometimes one has to laugh to keep from crying. Also, don't you wonder what the students were thinking too?



I read the following at SFgate.com:

Davis had his testicles and foot mauled off. Buddy, a 16-year-old male chimp, initiated the attack and after he was shot, Ollie, a 13-year-old male, grabbed the gravely injured man and dragged him down the road, according to Chealander.

Ouch, that would suck having your nuts eaten by a band of chimps run amok. However, looking on the bright side now Davis has a great story to tell the grand-kids. "Well Timmy, back when you were little crazed apes chewed off my nuts. Let that be a lesson to you, don't play with angry chimpanzees, and always look both ways before you cross the street...."

-Socialist Swine



Good morning everyone! It's time for another Friday Random Ten, is everyone excited? I know I am! Here we go!


1. Finley Quaye - Sun is Shining
(No one probably knows who Finley Quaye is, well he's a sort of reggae type guy who came out with a single album, as far as I know anyway, despite being a complete commercial flop this guy plays some seriously sweet tunes. If you can find any of his stuff I suggest that you do.)

2. DJ Dangermouse feat Jay-Z - Dirt Off Your Shoulder
(I recently discovered DJ Dangermouse, thanks dadahead for introducing me to this artist. You can't actually buy his album given that it violates more copyright laws than I can list, mostly because I know crap all about copyright law. You can however download his Grey Album if you have bit torrent. This album is sweet, who thought that mixing together Jay-Z's Black Album and the Beatles White Album would have such good results....)

3. Sublime - Rivers of Babylon

4. Beastie Boys - Bodhisattva Vow
(Who would have thought that the vows taken by Mahayana Buddhists combined with Tibetan chanting would make such a good rap song?)

5. Beastie Boys - Sabrosa
(I'm impressed by this song because I'm surprised that MCA can play upright bass this well. I've received years of formal training on bass and I found upright very hard to master and from what I've read MCA is self-taught.)

6. Ol' Dirty Bastard - Pop Shots
(ODB's final album is amazing. I really liked Return to the 36 Chambers, The Trials and Tribulations of Russell Jones, and Got Your Money but Osiris surpasses them hands down.)

7. James Brown - Make it Funky
(Being a bass player I have to love the funk. Give up tha funk! Make it funky!)

8. Johnny Cash - Hurt
(My MP3 player must really like Johnny Cash, I only have a few Johnny Cash songs on my list, yet out of the 2000 or so songs I have on my playlist Johnny Cash has played 3 times over 2 consecutive FRTs. I can't say that I'm disappointed.)

9. NOFX - Mattersville
(The best line on this song is: "We will grow old together we will play bridge and texas hold ’em. Duane and stevie cab they still skateboard but most of us lawn bowl and shuffleboard. We may be getting ripe but we ain’t bored." It's surprising how good a song about aging punk rockers is.)

10. Beatallica - Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band
(What's better than a band that plays Beatles songs while impersonating Metallica? Nothing, that's what.)

-Socialist Swine

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Hey does anyone want a g-mail account? If you do, I have 50 of them to distribute. Just leave me a comment here and I'll fire off an invite your way.

-Socialist Swine



Have you ever wanted to purchase a porn star's breast implant? Well now you can for the unbelievably low price of $14,000!!! It's so cheap they're practically giving it away!

-Socialist Swine



Several years ago I heard a comedian from Ontario crack a joke about how fast Albertans drive. Well, maybe there was something to what he said. Apparently cops are going to handing out tickets to slow drivers on Calgary's primary thoroughfare. That'll be great, slow drivers are a hazard.

-Socialist Swine



If there weren't already enough reasons not to take drugs, here's another. A study published in Addiction, a journal regarding substance abuse and addiction, has found that marijuana users are twice as likely to develop schizophrenia. Now I've know several people who have to deal with schizophrenia and its a terrible, terrible disorder. So if you think that weed can't hurt you, you're wrong it can (it's also more carcinogenic than tobacco so there's even more reason not to partake in the ganja).

-Socialist Swine



I just found an artical written by Warren Kinsella in the National Post about BMD and its various proponents and detractors in Canada.

It's a good read, I urge you to take a look at it.

-Socialist Swine



Heh, look what I found:



From the same place:






-Socialist Swine



I found the Are You a Yankee or a Rebel? test over at Pharyngula. I decided to take it and apparently I'm 46% yankee with nearly all of my answers suggesting that I am either from the northeastern states or New England (which isn't surprising given that this test analyzes regional vernacular and pronunciation and Canadian colloquialisms and pronunciation is similar to that of the northeastern US and I spent a ton of time in Boston when I was a little kid). It's a fun little quiz, so are you a rebel or a yankee?

-Socialist Swine

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Cows look calm, but really they are gay nymphomaniacs. At least according to Doctor John Webster professor of animal husbandry at the University of Bristol.

-Socialist Swine



It seems that Calgary Bishop Fred Henry is at it again, just two or three months after sending out letters denouncing homosexuality and homosexuals he's now calling for the excommunication of Paul Martin. Now everyone's entitled to their own opinions and views but Henry seems to me just to be a homophobe and a hate monger hiding behind religion. I mean it's one thing to be opposed to same-sex marriage but to be opposed to homosexuals generally is going a bit too far. Indeed, even other members of the Catholic clergy, such as Fr. Francis McDevitt of St. Mary's parish in Barrie Ontario, have rejected the views of Henry.

That all said, we were able to deport Ernst Zundel back to Germany, I wonder if we can deport James Henry to San Francisco or something....

-Socialist Swine



According to the National Post that a study has found that there has been a trend towards increasing anti-Canadianism in the American right. This is something that I've personally experienced. For example, last week no anti-Canadian comments on this 'blog, this week one anti-Canadian comment. Next week there might even be two! Why can't we all just get along?!?! Anyways, all facetiousness aside, the Post goes on to claim that acrimony between Canada and the US is at an all time high. Again, it seems that people are forgetting the War of 1812, when the US invaded Canada and Canada responded by burning down Washington D.C. (which was a pretty impressive feat given that by 1812 the US was a real country and we were still a bunch of hairy fur-traders who drank far too much fire-water). I would say that during the period around 1812 is when relations between Canada and the States were at an all time low. We might be a little pissy with one another right about now but I haven't seen any drunken hockey goons burning down the White House, so I don't think relations are as bad as they were 200 years ago. The Post then goes to note that the study, which really in fact was just the opinions of such unbiased thinkers as Joe Clark and Allan Gotlieb (who are, for you who don't know, a former Conservative Prime-Minister and an political appointee of Brian Mulroney, another former Conservative PM), demonstrates that Canada should get involved in missile defense.

So what they seem to be saying is that because elements of the American right have been being dicks that we should do exactly what they want even when they want us to do something stupid that likely contravenes international law. Doesn't that strike anyone else as huge non sequitur?

-Socialist Swine



In the movies people always go down to Mexico to hide from the law. I had always wondered where Mexicans who wanted to lay low went. Apparently it's Quebec.

-Socialist Swine



The US Supreme Court, on a vote of 5-4, has finally outlawed the execution of juveniles. Apparently it took them this long to realize that killing children is unconstitutionally cruel. I wonder how Texas will keep its lead on Virginia. I guess they'll have to execute more people with mental handicaps.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. What's up with Texas anyhow? Do they execute people for jaywalking or something?

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

It seems that some Liberals are getting opponents of same-sex marriage a little hot under the collar. The Young Liberals of Canada have coined a new slogan: "It's the Charter, stupid." A knock off of the "It's the economy, stupid," mantra adopted by Bill Clinton strategist James Carville. Opponents claim that the "stupid" part of "It's the Charter, stupid," is nothing short of name-calling. However, people call each other names all the time, I'm sure their actually feeling pissy because of the reminder that the Canadian Charter of Rights does in fact protect gays and under the Charter any right or priviledge accorded to any majority group must be made available to any minority group.

-Socialist Swine




Okay, this picture has nothing to do with anything but what's funnier than King Ralph getting nailed in the face with a pie?


This week it was announced by the province of Alberta is running at a $4.3 billion surplus. Immediately this was followed by a call from Kevin Taft, leader of the opposition, for the money to be spent upon education, endowments for the arts and social sciences, and the Heritage Fund. What do you think the surplus should be spent on? Let me know and let Ralph Klein know!

-Socialist Swine



Today I received the following comment:

Why do you (Canadians) CONSUME yourselves with US politics? It's not YOUR country- don't worry about it. You can complain all you want about how much the US sucks but at least we're not..Canada!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, go back into your igloo & practice your slap shot, eh!

Yeah, Canada sucks goat ass.... That's why we talk about the US so much, envy. I wish I lived in a country where if I was black my vote gets ignored, where gay people are openly oppressed by the gov't, where religion informs public policy more than common sense, where the crime rate is like 15,000 times higher, and endemic poverty leads to nearly 15% of the population having no access to health care. Yeah, the US is so much better than Canada, I should just move right now. Shit, why am in this fucking igloo playing hockey when I can live in the projects and play basketball. Dolt.


-Socialist Swine

P.S. I just counted and out of my 300 or so posts about 25 are about US politics (that's not counting me bitching about Ann Coulter, that pushes it up to about 30), which is surprisingly few given the influence of the US on international politics. I really need to post more articles about how much the current American admistration fucks up.



I found the following at Dark City. Suffice it to say, I laughed so hard that I have to change my shorts now....



-Socialist Swine



I'm getting sick of working on my thesis so I thought that I would post something on the 'blog, something light, fluffy, and open to public participation. So I decided to post a list of my favorite lines from various sources of media and to ask you to do the same (please post the line, the source, and the author, if applicable). So without further ado here are my Five Favorite Lines:


1) "Swastikas and Klan-robes. Sexist, racist, homophobes. Aryan-Nations and Hammerskins: you can wear my nuts on your Nazi chins!" song: "The Only Good Fascist is a Very Dead Fascist" album: Less Talk, More Rock band: Propaghandi. (I thought I would start off with something salient to my earlier posts.)

2) "Life sucks - get a fucking Helmet ... OKAY !!!" source: No Cure for Cancer author: Denis Leary

3) "You can kill us in your wars. You can jail us with your laws. You can take away our bodies but we'll never fit the mould, 'cause you'll never have our minds, and you'll never have our souls." song: "Stupid Canadians" album: Fuck the Kids band: NOFX

4) "Cha?" source: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure author: Keanu Reeves (I still expect him to say it every time I see him on the screen.)

5) "Yeah, you're a child at heart, just as soon as children start going to work every day to rot in a cubicle for a meager pay check so they can drink their troubles away in a shitty bar for the rest of their lives. Unless you're an astronaut, secret agent, vampire hunter, or all three, you're probably a sellout; screw you." source: The Best Page in the Universe author: Maddox


-Socialist Swine



Hey Ernst Zundel, I hope you enjoy rotting in a German prison you shit-bag. Bye-bye, Canada is better without you.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. You aren't a dissident, you're a hate-mongering Nazi scum fuck; so quit your bitching.



I was taking a gander at dadahead and I came across a story about the failure to repeal the lines from the Alabama constitution that mandates separate school systems for white and "colored" children. Now one would expect something like that happening back during the '60s but in this case it happened in the November of 2004. That's right less than a year ago a public plebiscite in Alabama failed to technically end segregation. However, hope isn't completely lost. The legislature of Alabama is reconsidering a motion to amend the constitution to formally allow children of different ethnicities to be educated together. That said, for anyone in Alabama, or otherwise interested in becoming involved in removing this last remnant of segregation, now is the time to act. Let's leave historical state sponsored racism where it belongs, in the past.

-Socialist Swine

P.S. Further sources for this story can be found here and here.


No animals were intentionally harmed in the production of this blog.